Friday, February 13, 2015

Kicking off 2015...in February!

2015 has been treating these sweet babes well thus far! Per usual, every day is an adventure for them and I am so freaking ecstatic to get to be the one to share these beautiful days with them.
 
I'm excited to see what 2015 has in store for us, despite all ready being half way into month 2 of this year. I'm sure it will be just as much fun as 2014. Lots of smiles, lots of giggles, and as always, a lot of learning! 
 

















Oh, ya know, vaccines, and people that don't.

A friend asked me this week if I was still blogging. I answered "yes" even though it's been a long time. Mostly I'm just tired and I have so much else on my plate.

But you know, this whole vaccines thing would be the string to pull me back. No surprise there I suppose.

It's not a secret we don't vaccinate. A part of me wishes it was, because you put a lot out on the line when you're open about, well, anything. But it's all ready out there, so I feel compelled to speak.

First, let me tell you a few of my truths, since the norm seems to be to lump anyone who chooses not to vaccinate into the same group.

1.) I am not anti-vaccines. Let me repeat this one more time, just to make sure you got that. I am not anti-vaccines. I think it's silly to vaccinate a healthy baby with a healthy momma against a sexually transmitted disease and I will likely never be on board with the random flu shot, but I'm not anti-vaccine. I never have been.

2.) I do not believe that vaccines cause autism, and after speaking to the bulk of people I know in real life who also choose to delay vaccines or not do them at all, they also do not believe that vaccines cause autism. That is an old "belief" and that ship has long sailed. The fact that people still throw that out quite often against people who choose not to vaccinate shows how truly uneducated many people are on this choice. (That being said, if a parent of a child with autism does believe that a vaccine gave his or her child autism, or contributed to it somehow, I would never disagree or argue that. That is their truth. And no one has a right to maliciously attack that).

3.) If I had vaccinated my now sweet three year old as an infant, he would likely be dead.

There. I said it. And the lump in my throat never disappears each time that thought even creeps into my head. The idea that if we had, even selectively and delayed as we had begun with H, vaccinated our sweet boy as a baby we would likely not have him in our arms today.

Wrap your brain around that one the next time you throw out the words "baby killer" or "idiot" to someone who chose not to vaccinate their kiddos.

Because guess what?

We didn't know then what we know now. We had zero way of knowing that our child's body does not process or eliminate heavy metals the way a normal functioning body does.

Sit with that for a minute.

Because you've said hateful things. You've had terrible thoughts. You've said I was dumb or un-educated. You've said my doctor shouldn't see my children since we voluntarily choose not to vaccinate. You've said I'd rather see my children died a horrible death than give them a simple prick.

Think about that.

I could have vaccinated my son.

But he'd be dead.

But I guess that's for the greater good, right? His life isn't as important as the whole?

We stopped vaccinating because of H. Because an inconsolable baby with a 104 degree fever isn't a "coincidence." Because I was scared.

And so B never got the same vaccines H had had because we were still sorting that crap out. And then we got to B's lead issues and that consumed us. And after all the lead elimination in the world and way too many blood tests we learned that it was something more than just lead. It was all heavy metals and for reasons not fully understood his body just does not process and eliminate them the same way most people's do. And we're dealing with that, no worries. But it was his doctor, when I brought up thoughts about vaccines at his 3 yr appointment that flat out said what I'd all ready wondered, "You have a mom intuition for a reason. There is a reason he hasn't been vaccinated, and you should listen to that. His body can't handle it right now." Which is when I asked the hard question about "what if we had..." and she gave me the hard, honest answer, about how we probably wouldn't have him.

I won't lie. Even if B could be vaccinated right now, he likely wouldn't be. Except for against meningitis. But the rest...no. So I would never use him as "Well, we can't vaccinate" because we totally made that decision without knowing that. And I completely own that.

But this measles thing has gotten out of control. There is so much freaking hate going on right now. I get the momma bear instinct is intense. I get we all have our "thing." I get we all want what is best for our kids.

And I could sit here and tell you that there are just as many, if not more vaccinated kids with measles, and I could point fingers and play the same blame game, but I don't want to do that. That's not the point of this.

The point is don't assume you know why people make their choices. Don't assume your truth is a one size fits all. Don't assume that people who make a different choice are uneducated or wish for their children to die (the shit people say, right!?). Don't assume. Period.

You don't know.

There is no way you could.

I mean, we had no idea that by choosing not to vaccinate, we were saving our baby's life.