Toys, toys, and more toys!

H and B have a ridiculous amount of toys. And it's crazy, because 3 months ago we literally got rid of pretty much everything, with the exception of wooden blocks, puzzles, and few other miscellaneous things. And in the three months since, we've managed to accumulate even more than what they previous had.

Certainly the holidays and amazing well-loving family and friends have helped. And it's, of course, greatly appreciated. But J and I also have a problem buying our kids things.

To the extreme.

We're not big holiday gift-givers. For some reason it just seems to not be our thing. We buy gifts for our friends and families, but not really for each other or the kids.

But we do buy year round. We haven't yet gotten to the ages where our kids really ask for things. But we still buy them things.

All the time.

When we feel like it.

When we see something we like.

When we see something we think they would like.

When it's appropriate and a decent price.

All the time.

A huge part of it is simply from our childhoods. J grew up poor. He basically had no toys.

I certainly had toys, but not to the same extent as a lot of kids, and not when I was really small.

Neither one of us begrudge our childhoods for their lack of toys.

And yet we want to give, give, give to our kids. We give them incredible amounts of time and attention, too, which we weren't terribly privy to as kids. So it's not like we just buy them things and expect them to go away. I spend the majority of my day playing with our kids. Other than when B takes his 45 minute nap which currently = quiet TV time for H (she loves that TV is being allowed inside during this time instead of solely in the car) when I take time to do chores and blog, as well as the hour I spend at the gym each day while the kids play at the play 'n learn center (which they love), I'm playing with them all. day. long. So trust me, they're not deprived of attention.

And pretty much every awake moment that J is home for is dedicated to the kids. He's playing with them from the second he gets home, before he has a chance to put down his bags or take off his shoes.

And logically, even academically, I know this all that they need. In fact, it's probably a bit too much and we should encourage them to play more on their own. But we like playing with them. It's why we had them, we say.

The toys, they are all just extra.

A lot of times I think they would be better off with fewer toys. That they don't really need our entire dining room turned play room, as well as our living room, full of stuff. But then when I think, "What would I get rid?" I just can't. In my defense, they really do play with it all.

I read the book "Simplicity Parenting" about a year ago and I really love it. Mostly because I would love to be a minimalist, and the book is about minimalist parenting. Love it.

But it will never happen. I'm great at getting rid of my stuff, but not the kids. I've done a lot of purging this past year. I condensed my books to two bookshelves when it was once three overflowing bookshelves. So now one book case holds the kids' games and "educational" materials.

I have less clothes than my husband! How many women can say that? My clothes take up about 1/4 of our closet space. But I really only have about 7 "fall/winter" tops. And 3 pairs of jeans. I have quite a few other shirts floating in there, many that I should pitch still, as I haven't worn them despite thinking I would. Last summer I had two pairs of shorts.

Now you want to talk swim suits it's a different ball game. It's pretty much the only thing I have more than J of. Because I have a weird obsession with them. But even there I've purged a lot.

Although they have way more clothes than me, I easily get rid of the kids' clothes as they outgrow them.

But toys. Oh, no! I just cannot part with those.

So I'm just going to hope that having so many toys isn't somehow damaging. I mean, I've read plenty of things that say with so many toys babes don't play with them all. They don't use their imaginations as much. They don't have the "gift of boredom."

But they do play with them. They do have amazing imaginations. And they even do tell me they're bored on occasion.

Or maybe that's just me justifying my own need to give, give, give to them.

Mod Podge is made by the devil himself

So I finally bought some Mod Podge because I have like a million DIY project pinned and figured, you know, I should actually do some of them.

I bought some canvases to make this wedding song lyric thing (great explanation, right?). And while I was browsing through canvas I kept thinking, "This would probably work better and be easier on wood." But since I've never done a anything involving Mod Podge, I figured my own input was worth nil. And because I'm cheap, and canvas is waaaay cheaper than wood, I went with it.

Um, it worked. I'll hang the finished product in my room. I think.

But holy cow! Mod Podge is made by devil.

There are like 10 different kinds to choose from. And I swear they are all the exact same thing. So I have no idea how you choose. I just ended up picking randomly and blindly.

There are all different sized bottles. Which now having used it, seems like a joke. What could you even do with the small bottle? Attach thumbnail picture to a quarter-sized magnet? Or maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

That's probably it.

Also, it's glue. Which annoys me. I swear it's just Elmer's glue in a round bottle with a Mod Podge label. I wouldn't be surprised. At all.

Canvas isn't flat. I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's not solid flat. Like would would be. So the paper ends up with bubbles in it no matter how many times you pulls it up and re-flatten it. I finally just had to accept it would be less than perfect. That is not an easy feat for me.

And because Mod Podge is just like Elmer's glue, my kids want to eat. Because it's glue. And something about glue makes kids hungry.

Needless to say, I'm less than impressed with Mod Podge. Don't get me wrong, now that I have it I'll have to at least try the other 12321 projects I have pinned, because I don't have a good reason not to.

And other people seem to have had great success with it. My little sister made us awesome ornaments of the kids using it. My friend B made us the best tea light vases with pictures of the kids that are so cute they are to die for! So others can definitely figure out.

Maybe it's all just user error.

Either way, Mod Podge is over-priced Elmer's glue made by the devil.

And all the people on Pinterest using it canvas probably never actually tried it. Just sayin'.

Curly hair is a beast!

When I was a little girl I wanted curly hair. I prayed for it. I made bargains with God for it. I literally cried for it. And when my Mom told me that the crust on bread would give me curly hair, I ate crusts like they were going out of style.

But I never got curly hair.

My daughter did.

It's lovely, beautiful brown, soft, shiny hair.

But she got my ridiculously fine baby hair. That means it tangles like a beast.

And she got her papa's curly/wavy locks.

On day one, fresh from a shower, it's some pretty serious curls. The subsequent days it turns to more wave with curls on the ends.

It's perfect. It's beautiful.

It's a beast to manage.

I don't know what to do with it most of the time. All I know how to deal with is dead straight locks. That's what I have. I don't know how to make hers look decent.

I don't know what kind of shampoo or conditioner to use. Or which ones not to. I've tried about 110 with little to no luck. I've tried detangler out the wazoo.

For the most part, I feel like I need a class in managing baby fine curly hair. J is no help, because he doesn't do much with his hair. And it's not baby fine, so he doesn't understand that aspect.

I've asked a million people at hair salons and in the shampoo department, etc. No one is really very helpful. "Oh, try this shampoo," they say, and then you can cue blood curdling screams of "Oh my goodness! It's burning my eyes!" or "Try this, I love it!" and suddenly her hair is an oil slick or the driest most horrid frizz ball.

I feel like hair shouldn't be this hard. Especially when you're not even three.

For the most part I just let it go. I tame it with lots of detangler, try to pin the hair out of her eyes if I can wrangle her long enough, and hope for the best.

I wouldn't change a thing about H. Not even her hair.

But I also understand why God didn't give me curly hair. It would not have been a pretty thing.

The truth about me and Paleo

I've written and deleted this a few times. Because I'm a bit conflicted about it. Mostly because I believe pretty strongly in "When you know better, you do better" and am always so damn confused when people know better, but still don't choose to do better.

I don't get it.

And yet that's me.

I feel at my very best - mentally, physically, etc - when I eat 100% Paleo. Like, I feel like I could move mountains and go skydiving off the moon amazing! So I know, without a doubt, that there is so much truth in the Paleo lifestyle. For me anyway.

But even as gung-ho as I am about health and nutrition, I would have never come to the Paleo lifestyle willingly. Even understanding it. Believing it. I only ended up there because I had a very sick little boy and it was my last hope before him undergoing some very invasive GI procedures.

And it worked. So that of course sold me.

Once B was around 8 months old I lightened up on Paleo. A lot. I started eating ice cream again. OMFG. There are no words. I ate cheese. And crackers. And coffee and wine.

And now, since the week before Christmas, I've thrown Paleo out the door in lieu of Christmasy good things I was fantasizing about. Peanut butter fudge. Egg nog. Tres leches cake. Tamales. Cinnamon rolls. The list is endless. In two weeks I managed to gain 5 pounds. That takes a special kind of eating, I tell you!

A few days ago I sat J down and told him I needed to go back hardcore Paleo. I needed to take control of my eating. Because I didn't want to outgrow my jeans. He looked at me like I had ten heads. "You're 125 fucking pounds," he told me (yes, I just admitted my weight to the world). "I hope you're joking, otherwise you need some serious therapy."

Well, J never drops the f-bomb in correlation to me. And he never tells me flat out that I'm crazy.

So it made me think.

And he's right.

I have a deeply skewed perception of health. It's there for so many different reasons. Reasons I know and understand. Reasons I don't fully know how to overcome. But I'm trying.

J is totally supportive of all my decisions, whether it be health, kids, financial, whatever. He always has my back, even if he doesn't get it. And he's been so genuinely supportive of us being Paleo for the past year because he witnessed firsthand our very sick baby and what a scary situation that was. And all because of food.

But he is also my reality check. He's the guy who told me I was beautiful before, during, and after pregnancies. He is the person who questions me to be sure I've questioned myself first. He's the one who when I'm not thinking clearly helps me out. Because he knows me better than anyone else in the world.

So after a loooong discussion (I mean, I didn't get to bed til 11pm that night!) I've come to the conclusion that I will always live a loosely Paleo lifestyle. There will always be more fruits and veggies and nuts/seeds for snacking around my house than granola bars and "fruit snacks". Meat/fish and vegetables will be the primary foods in our meals. And I know we are all far healthier for it.

But dude. There are just some things I cannot live without. Ice cream. Chocolate. Cheese. Crusty bread. Chocolate. Wine. Coffee. Chocolate popcorn. Tortillas. Chocolate.

It's just not going to happen. And it's super hard admitting that. Because I know better. I feel that by not doing better for myself, and for my family, I'm failing in some way. And I'm pretty much the least graceful person when it comes to failure. I was always told that failing wasn't acceptable.

But this time I have to.

This time failure might really be success.

Success at knowing and understanding health. At embracing it. By letting my extremely OCD and deeply disturbing health belief system be infiltrated my a dose of reality. Because although it's important to be healthy, it's important to be healthy about health.

I'll still make most things from scratch and by few processed things and when I do I will read labels. But man, I just have to let some things go. I'm not going to die if I eat three tortillas. My kids are going to be just fine if someone gives them a bowl of cheerios.

And I will tell myself that until I believe it.

Project 356: 2

 

I took some really good photos of Miss H today. That's hard to do these days because if she sees a camera she either hams it up to the extreme or hides. So just cute, natural shots are nearly impossible. But I caught some! And I was excited to be able to post a good photo today.

 

And then J came home. And the camera was next to me and H was all lovey on him and I took a few photos with terrible lighting and said, "Whelp, this is it. This terrible lighting, mostly crappy picture from an 'artists' point of view."

 

Because it's J and H. And they're beautiful And have this beautiful, pure love.

 

Even in bad lighting.

 

 

 

 

"I'll love you forever"

Miss H is really into the book "Love you forever" right now. Like, we read it 123049729837x a day. And that's not quite enough. She has it memorized word for word and is quick to correct me if I get jumbled up after reading it a bazillion times.

Well, H doesn't nap anymore. On the rare occasion she may, but we've been going napless for almost a solid year now. And most days it's okay. But I always have her lay down in her bed while I get B to sleep. Then I go back to her. If she's asleep, I let her be. If she's almost asleep, I just lay down with her until she's out. And, most days, she's still wide awake so then I tell her she can come back downstairs and play quietly while Mommy does chores (or blogs...).

Today when I took her up to her room she said, "Momma, I need you to rock me just like the baby. And sing me the song." So we sat on her bed while B found destructive things to entertain himself and I rocked her just like I did when she was oh-so tiny, singing "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as you're living my baby you'll be." When I laid her down with her head upon her pillow she looked at me and said, "As long as your living my Momma you'll be." I kissed her nose and she told me, "I'll love you for always because you're my hero."

She tells me I'm her hero a lot. But today it melted my heart just that much more.

In case I haven't mentioned it lately, I freaking love my job. I love being a mom. And I love those two tiny blessings more than anything else in this galaxy.

Project 365: Day 1

So I am going to attempt to do a Project 365. I use the word attempt because I'm not certain I can committ to keeping up with it. If we're being honest, I can't really completely committ to doing anything every day other than feeding my kids. And some days...

I will preface this project by stating that I'm not a professional photographer (trust me, it's obvious!). I do NOT photo shop or edit my photos ever. I personally think it takes away from the "art" of photography, but to each their own. So don't expect any masterpieces here. I also hate photos of scenery and stuff unless there are people in them, so it will probably just be a 365 photos of H and B.

So here is 1/365. My dear sweet B, wearing his sister's Uggs that he refuses to part with, and adorned with a tutu courtesy of H so he can dance with her "like Angelina." Personally, I think he rocks the look like a rock star!