I married an animal lover. I gave birth to two animal lovers.
I am not an animal lover.
Soulless, I know.
Puppies don't make me melt. Kittens don't make me coo.
I like the idea of practical animals. Goats that give milk. Chickens for eggs. You know, animals for food, not as pets.
Unfortunately, mi familia does not not agree.
At all.
J has been wanting a dog since before we got married.
"No way," I declared. "Too much work."
Two kids later, it still seems like too much work. Now I tell him, along with my sweet H that a dog is not a possibility due my allergies. Once everyone is willingly weaned, maybe we'll talk (I refuse to take non-life or death meds while breastfeeding).
I also argue that my desire to clean up poop after anything I haven't given birth to is zero. Non-existent.
But H is persistent. To the max. "I need a puppy, Mommy," I hear nearly every day. "I need a kitty of my very own." On and on and on she goes.
So I relented. I said fine. Let's do this animal thing.
And then she saw some piggies.
I knew enough about pet pigs to know that they are hypoallergenic, ridiculously clean, and smarter and easier to train than dogs.
And because I am sick of saying no (though I was sooooo close to her just settling for a lizard), I said yes.
And now we have a Duckie.
Formally, his name is Waldo Titus Mallard G. Because we do everything long and complicated around here. I suggested all literary names (of course!). When I suggested Emerson, J asked who that came from. I informed him it was from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He liked Waldo. H couldn't pronounce it well. J piped in with Titus. H was happy with Duckie. So we made Duckie his all-around name, threw in Mallard because we're cool like that if Duckie is to be his nickname (NCIS anyone?).
So now I currently have a 5 day old teacup piglet cuddled on my lap because it seems all infants I come into contact with find it necessary to be held and snuggled 24/7. Duckie is no different.
Go figure.
At this rate, we're going to have a whole damn zoo. J is planning chickens this spring, which I'm all for. But he happily reminded me that if he puts in a fence for Duckie than that opens up the reality of a dog (because obviously now that we have a pig this is more feasible - to him - allergies or no). What's next, a cat? A goat? A freaking cow?
I wouldn't put it past these animal lovers.
So while I'm bottle feeding a pig every 2-3 hours (who is admittedly freaking sweet and adorable and cuddly and a decent substitute for another baby), they're planning their next grand animal to add to our family.
And here I was completely content with none.
But par the course of our family, we can't do anything normal. Nope. We don't start out with a lizard or a stand-offish cat that is low maintenance. We go straight to a sliding, squealing, need-love-and-attention-at-every-moment pig.
Because, you know, everyone needs a pig.
Or at least my kids think so.
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