B is 3!

B is 3! Officially.

Things he loves:

- the color blue.
- Daniel Tiger and Handy Manny.
- all things chocolate. And chocolate. And a bit more chocolate. And pizza.
- playing soccer and doing gymnastics.
- all things super heroes, most especially Batman, Spider-man, and Ninja Turtles.
- bug-hunting
- doing tricks on the monkey bars
- gardening
- riding his tricycle
- dinosaurs!
- painting
- play-dough
- swimming
- fire trucks and firefighters
- getting dirty
- making messes
- helping momma cook
- helping papa build things
- listening to music and playing all instruments
- dogs
- his big sister

 

Growing up and changes

Go figure. Once I get my act together enough that we are doing "school" here on a regular basis, they're both off to school in 1.5 weeks.

Ahhh! How can that be so soon!?

Is it terrible that a part of me hopes they hate it? Yes, yes, I know it's terrible. I hope they hate it and immediately don't want to continue going. Of course, I would never say that to them. I just smile and enjoy their enthusiasm. And I do hope they love it, too. I hope it is a fun, blossoming experience for them.

It's awesome to see how much they grow every day. To witness all the things they learn.

Today, B and I were working on a coloring sheet. It had 10 different ships, each to be colored different colors. In February, he couldn't tell you a single color. Today he knew all of them except "gray." When did that happen!?

A week from tomorrow he'll be three. It is all just blowing by so quickly. I really love this adventure, but sometimes I wish it would slow the heck down.

Last night, when H was in the car coming home from ballet class she said to me, "Momma, I really, super love this ballet class. It's so much fun and I'm learning so much. But Momma...now I really still want to be in the Nutcracker someday, but...well, this class is just too late. I'm so tired and should be in bed. I really don't think it's a good idea."

I was kind of floored, especially because I had just been talking to a friend of mine during her class about how I wasn't sure how this would work out, especially once kindy starts as she is asleep 1.5 hours later on the night she has ballet than typical. And when you're 4.5 that is a lot of sleep to be missing out on.

I'm so impressed and proud of how mature she is. That she has the ability to separate her fun from her needs. That she can acknowledge she loves ballet, but also realize it is simply too much, too late in the day for her.

I agreed that she could just do her Wednesday dance class which begins at 4:30pm, and forgo the Tuesday night class after next week. We might as well finish out the month that has been paid for since it is only one more week.

I feel like every time we have a good routine down, it gets turned upside down and changed. Kind of like now. In a week and half it will all change. Again.

The truth is, I like change. I kind of thrive on change. When change hasn't happened enough for me, I start changing everything in the house. And J...well, he's not really one for change, so that just throws him off. So it's better that just our routine change.

But I'm excited for all the big changes coming up in our lives. I'm ready to embrace them, and tackle them head on. I'm ready to watch my children in their ventures of kindergarten and preschool. They're growing up...day by day.

Living the life

J was slummin' it in Vegas this past week, so we decided to live it up a bit ourselves. Ha. As if we need an excuse around here.

Sunday we ventured to noon mass. We never go to noon mass. We are typically the 8am early crowd, because that's how we roll. Then we stop off for breakfast after. But since we were so late in the game we decide some Orange Leaf froyo would do instead of breakfast (or lunch!). We sent Papa a picture...you know, because it's a rough life in Vegas!

Miss H had been asking to go hiking all weekend, but it was raining. Finally, on Monday, despite the rain, I said okay. It wasn't like we were going to melt in the rain!

We did cross paths with a whopper of a black snake. B walked right over him and was completely oblivious. I was super calm, despite my strong aversion to snakes, but did make the kids be completely still until the snake slithered away, despite being 99% certain is was non-venomous.

Tuesday morning we visited friends and "tye-dyed" some clothes. We actually put the dye in spray bottles and let the kids have at it. Seemed a little easier, despite a very different outcome from typical tye-dyeing. But H and B thought it was awesome, so I will definitely do it again some day!

We then ventured south a bit for lunch with family. We met up with my mom and little sister and youngest brother, as well as my lovely grandmother. It was really nice to visit and hang out with them as all, as we rarely all get together.

That's four beautiful generations of fierce and mighty women right there!

 

We ended that day out with a  nice long evening at the park and plans to join my little bro and sis at Holiday World the next day.

 

My little animal lover was ecstatic to find this empty bird's nest!

 

 

I had really wanted J to be there for the kids' first trip to HW, especially since J had never been there before either, but as is life. I really didn't want to deal with the weekend crow, and Wednesday was the last weekday of it being opened, so we went. And I am so glad we did. The lines were non-existent and the kids had a blast!

 

We spent the first few hours at the waterpark. It's set up awesomely for littles. There was a whole section of young kid water slides with about 8 or 9 slides. I could just hang out in the shallow pool that the slides fed into and the kids could do their thing with zero lines and I could keep my eye on them the whole time. Lots of fun!

 

Of course, I forgot my swimsuit so I borrowed my sister's as she and my brother opted not to do the waterpark (it was admittedly chilly). She and I, however, are well-endowed in different areas. So it was a task keeping my britches up and my bosom covered. Thank goodness I didn't run into anyone I knew at the waterpark!

 

After we finished with the waterpark, we were sitting on a bench and the kids were enjoying some dippin' dots, it happened that my bro and sis walked by. So we hooked up with them at that point, as with the exception of the roller coasters which neither kid could ride, they could ride everything else with an adult. (Okay, B was just barely skimming by at the 36" mark!)

The kids' favorite was hands down the Raging Rapids. And it might have been my favorite to watch them on. Their laughs and squeals were priceless! We had such a great day, and I cannot wait to go back next year - this time with J!





 

We were up bright and early Thursday for H's horse back riding lessons. I don't think that girl could be more excited about anything right now. She asks every single day if it's horse back riding day.

She'd been asking since March to take lessons, but we've always been so busy to fit it in. So after she asked to take a break from both piano and gymnastics (and in her words, "it's just a break, not a permanent situation"), I figured we finally had the time.

They have several dogs at the ranch, and B was in love playing with them while H rode. It was a win-win situation.

Then we headed to the gym so I could get in a work out, and mostly, a run. For reasons I will probably never understand I promised my little sister I'd run a half marathon with her next spring.

I loathe running. Despise it. I'm pretty sure that people who say they actually enjoy it aren't even human. When I'm running, I think of all the terrible, awful things I'd rather do than run - like pull my fingernails out one by one. Seriously. I don't like running. P90X, yoga, Pilates, sure. Running - just no. But I do what I say I will do, so I will do this. And it will be awful. But it will have an ending, thank goodness!

Friday we had a great, lazy day. More running, but otherwise, beautifully lazy.

And we finished out the week with J back home and a farm tour at the farm we get our milk and eggs from. H has been asking about going back ever since we left it last year. She had baby chicks on her mind, and she was united with some. Which made her blissfully happy.

It goes without saying, we are living the life over here.

Miss Independent...ooh, she fell in love

5 Years. 5 whole years of happy, wonderful, beautiful marriage.

It seems that I've known J forever, and at the same time, it was only yesterday we first met.

I know it's cliché, but these past 5 years have for sure been the best of my life thus far. I had no idea that is was possible to be this happy or this in love with a man and our beautiful family.

I like to tell people that J and I met when I was 17. Shock value, ya know.

The truth is, we did meet when I was 17, about 3 days before my 18th birthday. I'd been at my mother's work to receive a college scholarship and she was introducing me to different people in her building. And I spotted J; luscious dark hair, beautiful smile, across the building and asked who he was.

My mother smiled and said, "Oh, let me introduce you. I bet you will pronounce his name correctly!"

And sure enough, my four years of Spanish paid off and I didn't butcher his name like most Midwest folk.

There was probably some small talk, I don't fully remember. I know I walked away from him swooning and giddy, my first real crush. Ever.

I was not the kind of girl who was boy crazy at any point in my life. I was pretty resolved that I would remain single for life for numerous reasons that made total sense to me. I likely wouldn't have any children, though I would totally consider adoption when I made it to my mid-30s and was fully successful doing...whatever.

But that was it. The end of J.

Until my mother casually invited him to my graduation party. J was travelling extensively at that point in his career, much more than now if that's possible to imagine, and just happened to be in town on my graduation. He agreed, probably for the free food. He brought me a card with a hamster on it and actually went to my graduation ceremony, which I didn't know until we were engaged.

At that point, we did exchange email addresses and very periodically emailed back and forth for the next two years. Like, not even once a month.

I dated other guys, had experiences that changed me, grew up a ton. And then the winter of my sophomore year in college J was in Palermo, and I was currently taking a class on the Sicilian Mafia with which I was totally enthralled. I expressed my jealousy at his amazing travels and he offered to take me to Spain.

I kind of joked and said okay, but he took it seriously. I asked my mom more than once if she thought it were a wise or safe idea. She just told me to have fun.

I've never been the spontaneous type. Adventurous, sure. But spontaneous, true risk-taker...just no. So the idea of traveling to a foreign country with a guy that I truthfully barely even knew just had "bad idea" written all over it. I was fairly certain I was setting myself up to be human trafficked, but for some crazy ass reason, I said yes.

And that was a game changer.

Before I went to Spain, my dad asked me what my relationship with J was. He was a bit more concerned. I remember smiling and saying, "It's weird, but if I were the marrying type, which I'm not, he'd be the man I'd marry."

That probably scared the shit out of my dad. Who knows?

But I knew. I all ready knew.

Me, the girl who despised all things romance, who grew up not even remotely believe in the idea of love, had given her heart to a man she hardly knew long ago, the second her eyes had first locked with his.

Spain was beautiful and wonderful and J was such a perfect gentleman it truly startled me. I had no idea that there were men out there who still believed in chivalry and respect. We had separate beds in ever single hotel room. Other than when I slipped my hand into his, he never even remotely tried to take our relationship any further.

I returned home from a beautiful foreign country with a beautiful man, completely unkissed. He was a wonder of a man, for sure!

Our relationship grew over the summer. At one point in early July he asked if we could officially court. Yes, yes, he did use the word court! Ha.

I said yes.

Though a week of too much thinking - I had great reasons to by cynical of love, I had huge plans for my life, etc., etc., I told him that no, our relationship in fact should not progress any further. It was just more than I could handle or was ready for.

Per typical, J was an absolute gentleman about it and said he understood, but would really like to remain friends.

I agreed, as I adored him. And he'd quickly become my dearest friend. What in the world would I do if I didn't have him to talk to!?

So really, absolutely nothing in our relationship changed. We'd been planning a trip to Aruba in the fall before I ventured off to England for a year, and we both agreed we still wanted to do it, platonically.

Well, Aruba. Dear, sweet Aruba.

We went parasailing and snorkeling and thoroughly enjoyed life and one another's company. And one night, as I was climbing into my own bed, J said, "I love you."

And I said nothing.

For like an hour.

I laid in the dark, quiet room and weighed the gravity of those words.

I was loved.

And by someone whom I wholly loved.

It was terrifying and beautiful.

And I had a choice to make.

To follow my heart, or listen to my ever-practical brain, which had gotten me this far in life mostly intact.

I took a risk. For J, I took the biggest risk of my life. And I whispered, "I love you, too." I wasn't even sure if he was awake anymore.

As it goes, life continues whether you are ready for it to or not, and I was off to England and we'd all ready known I'd be living with him when I returned the following year, though it happened that our dream house, a serious project, fell into our laps, and we embraced it without the true certainty of where our relationship would end up.

I didn't think far into the future as I typically did. I just knew I was happy, right now, in that moment, and I'd worry about other obstacles when they occurred, because nothing could squelch the bliss.

Well, it turned out J had some work in Sicily that October, so I flew over for a long weekend so I could finally see Palermo, the tip of the metaphorical iceberg of our relationship. He greeted me with flowers at the airport and when we were at the hotel, discussing dinner plans, and for the first time truly since we'd been together, future plans, it came to be that we decided we were in it for the long haul. But he wanted to ask me right, with a ring and permission from my parents, and for the first time in my entire life, I did not analyze this situation or my answer.

I didn't question how incredibly young I was or how this would change the whole plan I'd laid out for my life. I didn't question if it rationally made sense or not.

I was not afraid.

I was so in love with that man, and I knew nothing in the world was quite as important as being with him.

Somehow, without even realizing it, ever so slowly over time, the fully-independent, forever-cycnical façade melted away and I just went with what made me happy.

He did propose properly on Christmas Eve in Paris, France. We attended the 8 o'clock mass at the Notre Dame and then he insisted we stay for midnight mass as well. I thought he was insane. I was exhausted, I didn't speak or understand a lick of French, and we'd just sat through one whole mass anyway.

After he gave up our seats to another couple and I realized that on top of it all I would now have to stand for the next 3 hours: I was done. There was a lot of heavy sighing and bitching and head shaking.

He pulled me into a corner, behind a pillar, and before I knew what was happening he was down on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand. "You're not making this easy," he said, "But will you marry me?"

I was floored. The wind was knocked out of me.

Yes, yes, yes!

And it was only uphill from there. He planned the wedding and worked on making our project house a home. I finished my year abroad and came home and moved in with him.

We lived in honeymoon bliss and visited his friends and family, whom I hadn't yet met. It was fun and beautiful and perfect.

We knew we wanted babies, and sooner rather than later. So I was a few weeks knocked up on the day we wed and I wouldn't change that for the world. I graduated university with honors and a double major and had our first bambino three months later. Everyone said the honeymoon phase would fade away. Especially with kids.

But you know what, we're 5 years in and 2 babies born, and it's still the honeymoon phase. It's still beautiful and amazing; exhilarating and exciting. And I'm so glad I gave my heart a chance, that I took a risk and let myself love J fully, because it was the best life-decision I've ever made.