I don't love Mother's Day

Mother's Day has come and gone. Hoorah. Or not. Depending on who you are, I suppose.

I'm one of those people who feel pretty indifferent about the "holiday" - though I lean toward against it.

It's such a commercial, Hallmark holiday. I know, I know. It originated back during the Roman times or something outrageously long ago like that, so it's not really a Hallmark holiday, but let's all just be honest. It's just as Hallmark as Valentine's Day (which also has a long dated history and has been extremely commercialized, but I digress...).

It's no secret I love motherhood. There is seriously nothing else I'd rather be doing every single day, all day. It's my calling, my passion, my "thing," whatever word you'd like to use to define it. I mean, I was the kid who genuinely didn't feel called to any passion or career and then I had a kid myself and it all clicked. It all made sense to me. This is it. What I want. Who I am.

People still ask me frequently what I'm "going to do when I grow up" despite me being pretty clear that this is pretty much it. I'm just Momma. I have zero desire to work outside of the home right now. I can't say what the future will hold for me, because things change and I get that, but for the foreseeable future, this is it. Maybe someday I will rally for peaceful and non-punitive parenting. Maybe I will be involved in someday making spanking in the US illegal (that would be the day!). Who knows. But for now, I wouldn't change a second of how I spent my time (okay....maybe slightly more uninterrupted sleep!).

So a day in which most mother's either happily get lavished with gifts and cuisine or end up begrudgingly doing the day to day grind of motherhood just isn't my thing. Sure, it's a nice idea to "celebrate mothers" but it's also so much more complicated than that. So much more. (Insert 40 page essay here about the different women we view as "mothers" in our life, the loss of mothers, mothers who are childless, etc., etc.)

Most of my friends yesterday were either sharing gorgeous photos and lovely little essays or snippets about how freaking wonderful motherhood is (and I wholeheartedly agree pretty much every day; I'm not really a "put on a happy face for just one special day" kinda gal), or they were upset that their spouse didn't let them sleep in or they didn't get x gifts, yadda yadda yadda. And I get it. I really do.

I have zero expectations about Mother's Day, but I have always had big expectations for my birthday ever since I was a little kid. (It was always an epic let down if you want to know). Fortunately, I was able to transfer that need of a celebration of me to my children, and their birthdays are much more important to me now than my own has ever been.

But I digress. Again.

It's freaking awesome to sleep in. To have breakfast in bed. Maybe to get a spa day or a special luncheon. Flowers. Whatever it is that make you tick. But I don't want/need those things on one certain day of the year. In fact, if they came on Mother's Day because Hallmark told my husband and children to do it then, I'd be a little pissed because there is zero thought that goes into that really. My husband and children step up to the plate daily, making my life beautiful and making me feel cherished. My husband regularly makes me breakfast and lets me sleep in. He and the kids pick up flowers when they're grocery shopping. They run errands without me so I can enjoy some time alone. They fend for themselves - happily - so I can grab dinner with friends. I could go on and on. But the point is, they make me feel loved and truly appreciated every day. Not just on one designated day.

But you know what? Some days just don't live up to expectation. Some mornings I really want to sleep in because I was up six times with H in the middle of the night, but B wakes up at 5am and although J tries to get up with him, B just isn't having anyone but me, so I'm the one up and awake while J sleeps in.

Some days I'm exhausted and a little spent and don't want to have to grab groceries and run errands with both kids in tow but J is on travel so it just isn't even a choice. Or I want to get an hour to myself and I just can't. And that's just part of life.

I won't feel extra loved if the better days happen to fall on Mother's Day and I won't feel less appreciated if Mother's Day happens to be one of our more challenging days. It just doesn't even make a difference. Every day is a celebration of being parents and children and having a lovely family. Who cares what day the calendar proclaims it to be?

So no, I don't love Mother's Day. Not because it's disappointing or a let down, but because I view every day as Mother's Day, and I dislike designating one day to celebrate and cherish something so beautiful that really should be honored daily. And not just for moms, but for dads too. Whole families.

Yes, Moms are great. Yes, we should tell them we love them and appreciate them. Of course.

But do it on a day that you're not "told" to do so. It means a lot more.