The best secret

I don't like secrets.

At all.

I'm an open book. What you see is what you get.

Secrets are a form of lies in my opinion. Especially secrets between the closest of people - husbands and wives (and husbands/husbands, wives/wives, etc.) There just isn't a reason why they should have secrets. Like ever.

It only dawned on me a few weeks ago that J had kept a huge secret from me.

For 2.5 years.

We didn't find the gender of either of our children until birth. We didn't want to know. You get few surprises in life, so why not let it be one of those great surprises?

J reads radar for his career. He can read ultrasounds and whatnot.

When we went in for our 20 week scan with B, the wand immediately was over his genitalia. I was clueless. I thought it was his head. I obviously cannot read ultrasounds.

I was 110% B was a girl. Like we never even talked about the possibility of him being a boy because I knew so strongly he was a girl. I'd even buy girl clothes while we were at stores for our newest to-be babe. We only talked girl names and finally settled on one mouthful of a name for our second girl. We didn't discuss boy names. At all.

Because B was a girl.

Except he wasn't.

And I realized that J knew.

J knew the whole time while we talked girl names and he handed me the debit card to buy little girl newborn outfits. While I swooned over the idea of matching baby girl dresses and all the sisterly things our kids would do - he knew.

Because J can read ultrasounds.

And he very visibly saw that our little girl was not a little girl at all - but our sweet, sweet boy.

And he never let on.

He kept it a secret.

So that it would still be a surprise for me.

Because he knew how deeply I didn't want to be told beforehand.

Because he loves me more than I will probably ever truly realize.

J knew the whole time our second born was a boy. But he kept it a secret. For me.

And taught me that some secrets are A-Okay. Totally worth it.

And made me realize not for the first time how freaking amazing he is. Because he knew. And he still made sure I got the surprise I wanted, even if he didn't.