Sophie

I've always been pretty open that I'm not entirely sure where I stand with religion.

I mean, I believe in God most of the time, but I have my days.

It was important for me to be married in the Church.

It was important to me that my babies be baptized. And I try my darndest to get them to mass. I want them to have that sense of belonging. And that sense that there is something bigger than them out there.

I'd be thrilled for them to take their first communion. For them to be confirmed.

But if they want something else - if they believe in something else - I'm okay with that too.

I just want them to believe.

In something.

For me, it's the little things. And the big things, that keep me on my religious toes, not quite willing to throw the towel in.

I've had a handful of moments over the years. Those "wow" moments that just aren't able to be explained in any other way other than by the existence of something else. Like God.

This evening while H and I were in the middle of a Momma/Daughter evening - we'd gone for cupcakes and were headed to the supermarket - she was chattering away in the backseat about everything and nothing. Suddenly she got quiet and then said, "Momma, before I was borned I lived in heaven with our Sophie. She loved me and gave me lots of hugs until I could be borned to you"

It takes a lot to send chills down my spine. To make my heart skip a beat or two.

But that did it.

When I was a little girl, my dad and family used to spend a week every summer at my Great Uncle Jim's lake. His wife was the sweetest, homiest, best-smelling, doting aunt a girl could ever want. She loved us all. Unconditionally.

Her name was Sophie.

I am certain that the day she died, my entire family lost a little piece of their own hearts. We were all so connected with that vivacious woman.

And according to my tiny H, my girl whom I've never even spoken to about my Great Aunt Sophie, our Sophie is the one who loved her while she waited to find her home on Earth right in my arms.

So yeah, sometimes I question God. And although there is the obvious that always makes me believe - my kids - because I know that J and I just are not spectacular enough to have created those extraordinary two people all by ourselves; there are those other moments, those "wow" moments. Those moments that send a chill up your spine and make your heart skip a beat.

And I had one of those today.

And I'm so glad our Sophie was there to take care of my beautiful girl before she found her Earthly body. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have done that job.