I guess we're not done nursing...

So B weaned in early December.

It was a hormonal event for me. I was little sad at first. Then probably a bit over-elated. I celebrated by buying a real bra.

And then it happened.

I didn't even know it could happen, especially after 3 months.

A week ago he asked if he could nurse after I got out of the shower.

I'd heard of this. I was prepared for this.

It's common for toddlers who have weaned to ask to nurse to see what their mother will say. It's typically not a big deal. Many giggle and run away. That is that.

B latched on for a whole 5 seconds, laughed and kissed my boobs, and ran off.

And that was that.

Or so I thought.

The next day he asked to nurse again.

Again, I obliged him. I've always wanted breastfeeding to be a beautiful and happy thing. And although mentally I was never going to breastfeed again, I figured maybe he was just needing a little help realizing that he'd chosen to stop, and wanting confirmation in some way that that was okay.

He latched on again for 5 seconds, and then said, "Momma, lay down with me to nursie."

I know I hesitated, but then I hoisted him onto my hip and took him into my bedroom and we snuggled and he latched on. After maybe 20 seconds he squealed, "Milk!"

I looked down where he'd come unlatched and saw a thick, yellowish milk. In hindsight it looked similar to colostrum, but at that moment I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or allow him to keep breastfeeding. But there was no stopping him now. He'd struck gold!

I made him unlatch about a minute later, just so I could see, and sure enough, there was actual, white, normal-looking milk. And he filled his tummy to his hearts content.

I wasn't sure if it was going to be a fluke or not.

It's not.

Since then he's gone back to breastfeeding every morning and evening.

I'm cool with this. I can still wear my normal bra. Which is nice.

H wanted to try too, since B was. But she seems to have completely lost her ability to properly suck. Though she was awfully determined.

So I guess B isn't weaned. I guess he was just taking a break.

And surprisingly, this isn't as uncommon as I'd assumed after talking to a handful of mommas who'd had similar experiences.

Truthfully, I was completely at peace with the fact that I'd never breastfeed again.

But I guess now I will be at peace with the fact that I am in fact breastfeeding again. And I have no idea when I'll be done.

And next time I'll wait a solid year before declaring anyone has weaned. Because my children love to make a liar out of me, ha.