"The Smart Girl"

I had a good friend tell me recently that she was surprised I was "still doing the stay at home mom thing." Truthfully, I was kind of caught off guard, and told her so.

She meant well. She said she didn't mean it negatively, it was just that I was always "the smart girl" - I was going to change the world...instead I was changing diapers.

It kind of stopped me in my tracks. It's not the first time someone has said this to me, but it hasn't happened in at least a year.

I hate that label. "The Smart Girl." Because it's one I feel like I will never truly live up to. Sure, school was easy for me. College was a breeze and I rarely cracked open a book or attended class and still graduated with a double major and honors.

But what does that even mean?

I was thinking about my own school experience after I dropped H off at kindy this morning. H is so obsessed with spelling right now. It's really fun and awesome to see how her mind works and get to be a part of this learning process with her.

It also emphasizes why I cannot send her to school next year to be so bored academically. It wouldn't be fair to her.

I was thinking about the only class I ever truly felt challenged in throughout my entire academic career - university included. And it was my freshman history class after I transferred to a private school. That history class kicked my ass. It was hard.

You know what I remember from that class?

Nada.

Not. One. Single. Thing.

And history is one of my "things." I love it. I get it. But despite that class being ridiculously challenging for me, I don't remember anything from it.

Maybe I'm an oddity, it wouldn't surprise me, but the only things I remember for school or university were the things that truly interested me.

I remember my creative writing classes to a T. My American and European history classes. I even remember my medical biology class (but shh! Science is not my "thing"...I just liked the parasites!). And of course all of my human rights classes in college - I could recite those to you. And my medical ethics class.

But I enjoyed all those. I thought they might some day be applicable to my chosen career as they were my interests.

Anyway, this discombobulation is me trying to sort out my own kiddos and their needs.

And the how much, even silently, I need to stop labeling them. Because H is all ready on a pedestal with the plaque "The Smart Girl" below her and she doesn't even know it.

We certainly don't give B enough credit sometimes, or expect as much out of him. I'm better than J is at not comparing the two kiddos, but still, it is hard. H knew all her letters and sounds at his age. She could write them all on paper. And she was just starting to string sounds together to sound out words. B knows the later "o". Yep, just "o." And he can write it. But that's it. He does not really possess any interest in knowing more, and I'm not pushing it right now.

The thing is, I don't even know what any of this means. I used to think I had it better figured out it in my head, now I'm not as sure. I mean, I still know they need to have the ability to focus on what interests them and more or less do and learn as and what they please.

But regardless of what they learn and know and love, maybe they'll grow up and just not use those amazing brains to change the world. And then what?

Well, then, they'll just be awesome. Like they are now. As long as they're doing what they love.

Maybe they won't change the world, maybe I won't - okay, probably I won't, ha - but maybe they'll change something for the better. Even if it's one tiny thing. And that will be enough. Because regardless of what labels we get stuck with in life, they don't make or break us, and we are enough. They are enough, as is.