Playing the Lottery

I'm not a gambling kind of girl. Never have been. The odds are rarely in my favor. And besides, I'm more comfortable with a sure-thing.

I hate surprises. I hate not knowing. Mostly, I'm just a control freak. I know that. I'm working on it. Some days I do better than others.

Today applications for the next school year for our one and only charter school opened up. I submitted H's.

J and I toured the school a few weeks ago. On a whim. I've currently got a grade 1 Waldorf curriculum sitting on my lap that I've been reading through.

My plan has always been to homeschool.

Well, not always. But for the past 2.5 years solidly. It's still my plan really.

H has been wanting more and more academic "school" lately, so although she is loving her kindy class, she comes home demanding more from me. And so we spend hours reading and writing and spelling in fun, creative, hands-on ways because she begs for it, but I'm definitely a big enough person to admit I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing. Hence the curriculum. I have no grandiose plans of following it to a T, but it's all ready given me a ton of ideas and help that I'm not sure I would have ever come up with on my own. And helped to point me toward emotionally appropriate, but higher level reading materials for her. Again, I just wouldn't have known.

I really, super love the Waldorf style of learning. It is what the charter school that didn't get pushed through was going to be here.

But we went to check out the other school, and we were both actually so super impressed. We were not expecting that, admittedly.

It's pretty much everything we could have hoped for. I mean, I'd love more nature and outdoorsy (and maybe a 10am start time, because I don't know about 8!), but nothing will ever be perfect. Not even at home.

The school is very whole-child focused. The classrooms are multi-aged. The "work" is mostly self-paced. All the grade levels do math and language arts at the same time so that children can be broken into small groups based on ability, not grade level. Which for H, would be a must. She'd lose her mind doing letters again for a whole year.

It promotes creativity and community. Parents are welcome to be in the classrooms any time they want - no making arrangements beforehand and getting permission. There are no desks for children, but group tables and kids can also (and do!) work on the floor or really anywhere they are most comfortable.

They don't have to ask permission to go to the bathroom. You have no idea how big that is to me. Asking permission to go to the bathroom is so degrading and controlling in so many aspects, that we wouldn't even consider a school (which is most) where this is a rule.

They don't focus or even really talk about standardized testing (though they do participate).

They are non-punitive. Which again, is a really big deal for us.

I could go on and on and on. But really, the fact that J came home and said he liked it is huge. I mean, yes, I want my kiddos home and am pretty particular about their education - socially, emotionally, mentally, and academically - but he is even more hardcore.

So, we're in the lottery now. Playing the odds, which aren't very high.

We haven't even discussed it with H. And we won't, unless she gets a spot. Then we will take her to tour it and listen to her input. And likely give her ultimate say, since we are cool with either option.

And I'm not sure which H would pick. She was very hardcore school this year. But she also tells me she doesn't want to go back next year, despite loving school. She's feeling the effects of being tied down and unable to travel with papa. She misses waking up and saying she want to go to the zoo or to a museum, and having the ability to do so. She misses story time at Barnes and Noble. She misses all of her extracurriculars, which she is just too tired from school to whole-heartedly participate in.

But she does love school. So who knows?

It might not even be a factor anyway. Since we're playing the lottery.