Doodle Bug

There should be a warning that comes with each individual pregnancy. So you know what to expect. It's really only fair.

Trust me, I was never in a million years prepared for this pregnancy. H and B were easy. So easy. Heartburn aside, I have zero complaints. I was pretty certain I could be pregnant forever. I loved pregnancy. It was so awesome.

And then I got pregnant with Doodle Bug.

I'm not going to complain. Not really. I'd take it a million times worse if I had to, because this baby is all ready so loved and cherished and deeply wanted, and completely worth the less pleasant aspects of this pregnancy.

Oh, no baby has been wanted as much as this one. All the things we've gone through to have him. The emotional and physical pain. The two sweet angel babies that came before him. Trust me, I'm eternally grateful for this darling.

I try to see the positive to all the crazy symptoms. All the crazy vomiting has kept me below my pre-pregnancy weight, despite a tummy that all ready is as big as I was at 25 week with H (seriously!).

I've come to see how ridiculously amazing my children can be. And how understanding and compassionate when Mommy can be barely function due to a migraine or intense exhaustion. It's always lovely to see your babes rise to the occasion, and they definitely are.

And when I lay on the couch at night, I can feel the tiny dancing from inside of the tiniest human in our family. There are seriously no words for how amazing that is.

Regardless though, I'm recording all of this. All of it. I will remember how not-fun this all is. So that when sweet Doodle Bug is a year old (or 3 days old, hormones are funny like that), I don't get any crazy ideas about wanting to reproduce again. Ever again.

J doesn't believe me (I guess my credibility might be shot a little bit), but I'm serious. We will all love and cherish this perfect darling. And revel in the fact he will be the last. (Right....)

I didn't expect the mommy guilt that would come with this pregnancy. When I was pregnant with B, I worried endlessly about whether I was ruining H's life by having another babe and making her not the center of our world. But that passed once B was here.

This go-round I don't have those fears. I know Doodle Bug will be nothing but a wonderful addition, and H and B will be so fortunate to have him. They will rock their sibling roles for Doodle Bug just as they do for each other.

But I'm pretty sure I'm neglecting my kids at this point. I'm just so tired. So. Tired. My energy is shot. I am not the fun, on-the-floor, out-hiking momma I was 14 weeks ago. To the extent that if it were remotely in my budget, they'd both be in school right now just because I feel like they need a little more attention. I mean, they're not complaining fortunately, but I do worry about them.

I know it will be fine though. We will all come out the other end of this like rock stars; and utterly in love with our newest addition. Because really, we all ready are.

I figure the bumpy path for us to eventually hold Doodle Bugs in our arms will make us adore him just that much more. Besides, all good things are worth fighting for. And Lord knows we fought like crazy for this baby.