A green light - I'm doing something right

Sometimes I question this whole parenting thing. I think it's normal. To question ourselves.

I also think it's healthy. It's what makes us investigate deeper into different things. It is what allows us to grow both as parents and as human beings.

I always find myself questioning how I've handled situations. The day in general. Was I too lenient? Or worse, too hard on one of my kids? Were my expectations age and child appropriate? Was I engaging and attentive enough?

Did I listen to H and B? I mean really listen to them.

Did I have all the facts to a situation before budding in and taking over? Did I give them the opportunity to work things out for themselves?

There is no manual for this whole parenting thing, that's for sure. All I know is that I'm mostly trying to do everything opposite of what seemingly the majority of people are doing. Because I know I want a different relationship with my kids' than how most relationships turn out. I want something better.

But as I said. There is no manual. So maybe I will get a different relationship. But maybe it won't be any better.

Who knows?

I certainly don't.

But my precocious little girl gave me a good green light this evening. After we'd said our bedtime prayers, and she was cuddled under her blanket and we spoke of today's events and our big feelings and our nonsensical banter, H suddenly got serious and said to me in her wise old way, "Mommy, you're the best mommy. You're not so big and mean and mad like some mommies. You just say 'I'm getting really frustrated' and walk away like a good mommy instead of huffing and puffing. You're the best mommy in the world. You're such a beautiful person."

Of course, my very first mental response was, "No, you are such a beautiful person, my dear H." Then it was, "Did a 3 year old just say that!?"

So I question myself sometimes. Not half as much as I used to, that's for sure. But it's still there occasionally.

And when it starts to creep up on me, I've got this incredible little girl who dissipates any worries I've got of messing up.

Because she's amazing. Incredible. And so is B. Which means I'm doing something right.

Mostly.

We'll overlook that B tried to eat my arm yesterday morning. That's a symptom of his current zombie cold, I'm sure. Not me.