Spanking is narcissistic.

I loathe when people say that parents who (wisely) choose not to spank, do not discipline their children.

I also despise that people believe that discipline is synonymous with punish, but that's a different rant.

Let's just call a kettle a kettle: Spanking is narcissistic.

It's lazy, irresponsible parenting that people who lack self-discipline turn to, typically as a relief for their own frustration, because it provides them a few moments of satisfaction and temporarily stops a child's behavior (or doesn't). It's used when people would rather "fix" a short term problem instead of helping their child come up with long-term solutions that will benefit their whole person.

Because let's be honest, true discipline is hard, hard work. It demands patience, commitment, involvement, creativity and more of that hard, hard work. It's not for the weak of heart.

It takes two seconds to respond to an ornery child and get the quick fix you want by smacking them. It takes a few extra minutes to offer a calm-down and a solution (and sometimes in public, with people watching - oh, the embarrassment and the horror!). If the child is in a particularly challenging mood, it could take much longer than a few minutes. And for some reason that kind of commitment to our kids is just too much to ask for. I mean, 90% of children in the US are still spanked regularly, so that speaks volumes on our willingness to truly commit to disciplining our children (and by this, I mean role model, role model, role model!).

Not to mention that we have overwhelming data that proves how damaging spanking is. I know lots of people use the "Well, I was spanked and I turned out fine" or "My parents spanked me and I never doubted their love" logic, but plain and simple: it's crap. Spanking damages the brain. It literally reduces the gray brain matter and therefore intelligence, learning, sensory perception, speech, muscular control, emotions and memory of the person being spanked. So even if you're "fine" - you could have been "great." And you owe great to your children.

Research consistently links corporal punishment with aggression in children, poor academic performance, depression, and anti-social tendencies, which includes the harming of animals. No one wants that for their kiddos.

Children learn by example. By watching their parents. The only example a spanking gives, no matter how "lovingly" it's given, or how much you talk with the child afterwards and pour more love onto them, it only shows bullying, fear and violence. It teaches children to control others and to relieve their frustration by hitting. Preferably someone who is smaller and more vulnerable than them, and looks up to them for everything. Why would you want to teach your child that it's okay to hit someone just because you're bigger? And then we wonder why there is such a growing "trend" of bullying. Because it's first learned in the home.

And once a spanking is given, it can never be taken back. So we have to work just that much more hard at parenting to help make it right.

So yes, spanking is narcissistic. It's a narcissistic act that parents carry out solely to make themselves feel better for a very short period of time.

And it's wrong.