Wednesday, after story time at Barnes and Noble, H brought a tiny stuffed penguin over to me and said, while cradling it in her arms, "Momma, if I could just have this little pinguino then I will love it just like my kitty cat that went to Heaven and I won't be so sad."
Well, how can anyone with a heart say no to that?
When I told J the story later he just laughed and said age 16 might be a rough year on our bank account. I will worry about that later. I have bigger issues right now, like the sadness over a dead kitty.
Well, of course, if H got a stuffed animal, B needed one, too.
He picked a stuffed Angelina Ballerina.
I didn't even think twice about it, though was admittedly surprised he didn't pick the dragon he carries around that store all the time. But whatever.
When it was time for us to check out, B was, of course, reluctant to hand over his Angelina that I had just told him was his forever. He's 2. The concept that he will actually get it right back still doesn't quite click for him.
The older cashier smiled and said, "What a stubborn little girl you have there."
I smiled back and replied, "Or a boy."
Her eyes widened. "I just assumed with the long hair and purchasing a girl's toy."
I didn't skip a beat. "Or it's just a toy."
It irks me. Right down to my bones.
People don't tend to think much about a girl with short hair. Or a girl wearing pants or playing with a dump truck. Girls can love blue and dinosaurs and watching and playing football.
But a boy who likes "girl" things. Dear God. The horror!
B's hair isn't even that long. Yet. But I will let it get long. Because I adore long hair on boys. And if or when he decides he doesn't want long hair than cool. He can cut it.
B has a ton of "typical little boy" attributes. The things that people want to cram down your throat because that's what "real boys" do, like, play with, etc.
He loves trains and airplanes. Dinosaurs and super heroes score big in his book. His favorite color is typically blue, but like all little kids, it's subject to change by the second. He loves to play soccer and climb and get dirty. He loves fire engines and "firing" people (his version of a gun, since he doesn't know what one is). He's way more physical and aggressive than his sister.
If he is picking out his own clothes, he picks the cutest things. Suspenders. Bow ties. He often prefers button up dressy-type shirts. With the sleeves rolled. Always with the sleeves rolled. But he also typically wants his jeggings (which, gasp! come from the girls section of the stores).
He loves his ballet classes, maybe even more than H. He carries his baby dolls and now Angelina all over the place and shhh's them when they're crying and rocks them and cuddles them to sleep.
He loves wearing princess dresses and tutus and sparkly shoes. Sometimes, even in public.
And you know what?
I don't care.
And neither does J.
I don't care if my girl does "boy" things or my boy does "girl" things. I don't care what they wear if they're comfortable and happy. I don't care what activities or sports they play, as long as they're playing it because they enjoy it, not to make J or I happy.
And I hate, hate, hate that it is acceptable for girls to be "tomboys" but boys can't be...feminine...in any way?
I hope B is never afraid to cry during a sad movie or at the funeral of someone he loves.
I hope he never conforms to what society says he should play or watch or wear or like.
And although we live in a fairly progressive town, where it's really only the older folks that do a double take at a boy in a tutu, I hope by the time I have grand kids, that no one cares about such petty things. That girls can love princesses and it not be considered degrading. That they can love superheroes and it not be seen unacceptable and "masculine." That boys can be ballerinas without anyone blinking. That they can pirate without being labeled "aggressive."
Kids have the right to be kids. Without anyone, especially ridiculous, opinionated, close-minded adults telling them to "buck up, and be a man" or "sit down and be quiet, you're a lady."
I have two amazing kids. If you wanted to see them as a traditional, stereotypical little boy and girl, you'll find all those attributes there. They're easy to see. If you want to see them as atypical and original, going against the grain of what society says is the "norm", you'll see those qualities, too.
But if you look a little closer, you'll just see a little girl and little boy.
And nothing more.
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