"You don't have a scar."

Because it is my birthday today, my dear husband scheduled me a massage. A few people had suggested he take the babes for the day and let me have "alone time," he was much smarter than that and knew I'd kill him if he took them from me all day (okay, not literally...). Sure, I like a break, who doesn't? But anything more than an hour and I get antsy for my babes. Needless to say, I don't have them away from me very often.

Anyway, after getting my massage, which was delightful, the massage therapist was talking to me and said, "You are so lucky! You don't have a scar or anything."

"A scar? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, from your epidural from having your babies." (Do people really have scars from their epidurals? For some reason I find this hard to believe, but okay...)

I kind of laughed and simply told her, "Oh, I didn't have an epidural with them. I had them at home."

Now, when people learn that I had my kiddos at home I nearly always get one of two reactions.

1.) They think I'm some kind of super woman who is also a bit crazy.
2.) They think I'm some kind of ridiculous martyr who hates Western medicine and thinks that women who birth in hospitals are less-than.

Quite frankly, neither is true. (Well, okay, I'm probably a bit crazy).

There really isn't anything "super woman" about having a baby the way God intended. Women have been having babies naturally for millions of years. It's "normal" for all intents and purposes.

I do not hate Western medicine. I'm thankful for all the good it does, especially when one of my babes or I need it! I'm not against hospitals, not even for birthing babies. And I most certainly do not think that any woman who chooses to birth in a hospital, even with medicinal assistance, is less than. I think all women are pretty damn super.

I didn't intend to home birth before I got pregnant. In fact, only months before I got pregnant with Miss H I actually made a comment that home birthing was crazy, and why would anyone choose to do it, while speaking with one of my good European friends who lives in a country where it's the norm.

But, as it came to be, I'm a control freak. Like to the extreme. I truly disliked my OB who pretty much immediately ripped my birth plans to shreds and told me that although I was perfectly healthy he would not allow me to birth naturally because, in a nutshell, it wasn't convenient for him. I said fuck that, J and I left, and I announced that we'd be doing this at home where I could be in control

So we did.

So I'm not super woman or a martyr.

Just a control freak.