Wow. The amount of reponses I received from my last post were huge. Several people sent me private messages saying that they also struggle with their parenting decisions and often feel like such an outsider.
But what was shocking was the amount of women who said they also found motherhood to be an extremely isolating experience.
I mean, what is wrong with us? Not for feeling isolated, but for doing this to eachother? You would think that since we know how difficult motherhood is, we would stick together.
I'm not saying we should compromise our morals and values. If you don't agree with sleeping with your kid, there is no need to pat me on the back for doing it. But also, comments about how they will never sleep is not helpful.
Unless someone is genuinely harming their child, why can't we just be more supportive? I might not stick my child in time out for acting out or swat her bottom for misbehaving in the grocery store, but I sure as hell don't condemn someone who chooses to do so.
A little support for each other would go a long way, instead of all the wars. And we would all be so much better off for it
It is interesting in ways because when things get really hard for me, I have two go-to people for advice. And their advice is often different, sometimes to the extremes , but always incredibly beneficial. Sometimes I employ the methods they prescribe to an exact, other times simply hearing other ideas and taking on a new perspective help me to come up with something entirely different that works for us.
And that's ok.
But why is it that when someone shares a new idea or perspective, so often we get bitter and defensive? Motherhood is a learning journey. No one is born knowing everything. We learn.
All the things I know now - all of my parenting beliefs and ideas - I didn't have 3 years ago. I have them because I was open to knew things. My desire to better myself is an unending thing. And as I know better, I try my damndest to do better.
Sometimes I hear things that I feel are crazy and absurd. Patenting styles or tactics I just feel could never work or be okay. But then as I warm up to otherideas , I find myself using those same methods and laughing about how not so long ago I had thought it was crazy.
So be kind, you can't rewind, so always keep an open mind.
Be supportive. Oh, for Lord's sake, please be supportive. So the next time you judge the mother screaming at her child on the playground, remind yourself that you have no idea what's going on, even if you don't agree with the yelling. Or the mom at Target who is coddling her tantruming preschooler when you think discipline should be handed out, why don't you just smile instead? You just don't know.
And it doesn't matter anyway. We should just be pillars of support for mothers everywhere, not another eye roll or muttered sentiment of disdain.
Motherhood is hard
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