I don't know *anything* about Santa

So H has decided she believes in Santa. Cool. I guess.

As I've said, I won't ever intentionally burst that magical bubble if it's what she wants to believe in.

But God help us all come Christmas morning when she's seriously miffed with that man.

Apparently Santa brings everything you want. I mean, you see it in the store, say, "Oh, I want Santa to bring me that." And he will. Just like that. (Unless it's a Sofia the First toy. Then Grandma J brings that, she says.)

Until H decided Santa was coming on Christmas she'd pretty much never walked into a store and said, "I want this and this and this." She just didn't. Super simple.

Now she does. Because Santa is going to bring it to her.

Apparently.

Despite the fact that I've tried to explain to her that Santa will in fact likely not bring her everything she asks for. (Or anything she asks for...crap mom, I am.)

But when I try to tell her these things, she just looks at me, eyebrows raised, mouth pinched tight, hand on her hip and says, "Mommy, you don't know anything about Santa. I can't even believe you're a human!"

Yeah...

I can't believe I'm a human some days, either.

But, alas.

I am a human.

I am her mom.

And I am her Santa.

Crap.

Shit.

Fuck.

Santa will not deliver, my sweet girl. I hate to break it to you. He just won't.

Santa sees how much stuff you all ready have.

Santa is trying to de-clutter and minimize.

Santa is trying to partake a little bit less in this consumer, materialist, keeping up with Jones's world.

So maybe it's a good thing I don't know anything about Santa.

I can just play dumb.

Because Santa is filling a stocking. And that's it. The 23,234,456,532 that have been asked for, will likely remain on the shelves of their respective stores until a way cooler Santa than I purchases them. And her kids will totally like Santa more than mine. For like .3 seconds, anyway.

Because my kids won't remember all the stuff they asked for anyway. So they'll still think Santa is pretty awesome, I'm sure.

And if not. I'm totally okay with that, too.