It's hard, but so worth it.

I read this today, and I loved it so much I posted it on my facebook. Twice.

It was a really good reminder. Something that I needed today, after an awesome morning followed by an afternoon of whining and fighting and me on the brink of losing my mind.

This whole gentle, peaceful parenting thing isn't easy. Like at all.

Yelling is easy.

Hitting/spanking is easy.

Time-outs are easy.

Threats are easy.

Bribes are easy.

But being patient. Fuck. Not easy at all.

Not yelling at someone who is yelling at you.

So not easy.

Listening to the same whine for the umpteenth time and calmly replying for the umpteenth time without snapping or banishing the whiner.

Not easy.

Watching your child push the button on the blender after you'd said it wasn't ready yet and not completely freaking out.

Not easy either.

Talking calmly and gently to an aggressive 2 year old.

Not easy.

Talking calmly and gently to a sassy 3 year old.

Even more not easy.

But this article, it was a beautiful reminder. A very helpful reminder right now.

Why J and I do it. Why we chose this way to parent our children. Why we put on the breaks when we started heading down time-out ally nearly 2 years ago and knew it wasn't right for us. Why we read until our eyeballs bled, and talked until our throats were raw to make sure we were on the same page.

Why we are there to give the other reprieve when the day is just so hard and we need someone else to be the calm, level-headed, fun parent while we collect ourselves by taking a solo shower or reading the news online so that we don't do or say or outburst in a way that we'd later regret.

It's a reminder that although we've made things a little tougher on ourselves right now in some ways - there is no easy or immediate fix to our children's unwanted behaviors - only long-term solutions, we've made things so much easier on ourselves in the long term. And more importantly - on them.

Because they will be leaders, not obedient followers. They will confidently say "no" and know that their "no" matters and will not be punished - whether to us or to the kid offering them a joint. Because they won't have issues with their parental relationships that will make them question every other relationship in their lives.

Because they will know due to the way we've treated him what is acceptable and what is not. They will know that they are worth more than being yelled at, belittled, shut down, ignored or hit by anyone.

So sometimes it's hard. Impossible almost.

But worth it. So worth it.

Because as the Organic Sister said, "This is parenting for the long-term. For the big picture. So remind yourself, through all these messy years when there are boogers dragged across the walls, and screaming matches over LEGO, and the first time they ever steal something, and words you wish you’d never taught them, and everyone is so kind as to point out their perfectly manicured children who never talk back or make mistakes because they’d get their ass whooped if they did…

Remind yourself that real, mindful, conscious, organic, peaceful, respectful parenting doesn’t look good in the beginning, in the same way a freaking souffle doesn’t look like a souffle until it comes out of the oven. (And if you keep poking and prodding it’s not gonna come out looking like a souffle at all.)

This kind of parenting doesn’t come with instant gratification like spanking and threatening and shaming does.

Instead it comes with real gratification, the kind that comes when one day they are taller than you and out there making their impact on the world with the kind of tools you modeled for them."

And that's what matters.

Long-term.

Even if the some of the days getting there are really dang hard. I will never regret showing kindness and compassion to my children. Not ever.