How are all parents not drunks?

After the kind of day I've had I could really use a glass of wine. Or six. But I'm not having any, because I refuse to drink alone.

Someone once told me that alcoholics are those who drink alone. While I don't believe this, like at all (I drank alone before I had kids and was never close to being an alcoholic), it has really stuck, and since having kids I have this deep fear of even having a sip of alcohol and no one else being here if something were to happen. So yeah, it doesn't happen.

But...really, how are all parents not drunks? How do people survive without losing their minds? And those that still have their minds…do they really want them?

My 2 year old managed to sharpie the rocking lounge chair, pour a whole bottle of hand soap on the bathroom walls and floor while she was "cleaning" and cut a dress I was in the process of making into shreds. Literally. And before you sit there wondering what the hell I was doing while she ran amuck, I will tell you. I was peeing, nursing baby B, and then making dinner during each of those scenarios. Not eating bon bons and watching soap operas (though it does sound like a lovely idea!).

It took her all of like 45 seconds to ruin my chair with a sharpie. That's extreme talent. That means she got the marker off of her papa's desk in the library, went to the living room and then created her grand masterpiece. In 45 seconds. I'm pretty sure someone is slipping her amphetamines and forgot to tell me.

But I never even yelled at her. For any of it. I just told her about a million times how much I loved her - mostly for my sake.

And then when baby B was napping on me, I made sure to inhale his awesome baby scent and watch him all sweet and peaceful and force myself to remember how precious and sweet he is. Because he'll be 2 someday, too. And I'll need a reminder.

Or some alcohol. Either will do.