I'm not spontaneous

I'm pretty much the least spontaneous person I know. I make pro/con lists for nearly every major, and many minor, decisions and plans in my life. I even plan out my day each morning, or the night before. Xyz are going to take place, and I rarely stray from the plan. Needless to say, spontaneity is not my forte.

While J was on travel for 2 weeks, one of his good friends' father passed away. This really had no impact on me as I did not know this guy's father, and to be honest, I don't know this particular friend very well.

But, I've been doing some major re-evaluations on my life and my relationships with people. And, by default, my children's relationships with people.

And the more and more I thought about this friends recently departed father, the more and more I thought about my children and their paternal family.

J and I have submersed ourselves into Dave Ramsey's get out of debt plan. It's hard. Like really, really hard. But that's mostly because we are currently carrying three mortgages, and one of those was never in our budget. And really, until we are able to get rid of it, we will be floating. And that's okay. We are still more fortunate than many, so I cannot complain. But because of this, we've also put a stop to all non-essential travel.

This is hard. Like, really, really hard. For me, anyway. I like to go. Whenever I want. I'm used to being able to just go with J on his travels whenever I feel like it. I'm used to being able to take mini-vacays whenever I choose.

But we're not doing that. And it's 100% my choice. I'm the one who wanted to go all Dave Ramsey.

But the more I thought about how quickly our friend lost his father, the more I thought about the last time we'd been out to visit J's family.

It was last November. For baby B's baptism. That was a loooong time ago. And, quite frankly, a miserable experience for me. Not because of J's dear family or friends; no, they are all amazing. But because of where I was mentally and emotionally at the time.

The idea of J's father passing and our children having not seen him in so long really bothered me. The idea of our children having family that love them so very much, but whom we choose not to go out of our way to visit due to monetary reasons, bothered me more.

I mean, how in the world do you put a price on your family? Especially family that truly cares about your children - not those who pretend to because it's "the right thing to do."

After the babes were in bed last Friday, I was unloading the dishwasher and this really just kept eating at me. I really needed to get those kids out to visit their grandparents. It just couldn't wait.

J got home late that evening from his travels, and one of the first things I told him was that we had to go visit his family. And pronto.

"How soon? When?" he questioned.

"Let's go tomorrow," I told him.

"For real?"

"Yes, for real."

And so we did. It's roughly a 24 hour drive, and the kids did amazing. We drove through the night, we stopped frequently, and we used that DVD player like it was going out of style.

We arrived in New Mexico on Sunday. We departed on Thursday. It was a short trip. But incredibly important. For my children. For my husband. And for myself.

I'm not a spontaneous person, but without a doubt, a 24 hour drive across the country with two babies for a relatively short trip, planned less than 24 hours before departure, is without a doubt the most spontaneous thing I've ever done.

And now I'm starting to think I need to add some more spontaneity into my life. It definitely is good for the soul!