The first and the second.

It's funny the difference in emotions and expectations between the first and second child.

With the first pregnancy it is beautiful and glorious. With the second it's just something you gotta do to get the baby and you don't have the time to think about and adore every little kick and movement and marvel in the wonderful being you're growing.

When the first baby is born you're so overjoyed and unable to hand her over for hours. The idea of anyone else touching her makes you want to vomit. With the second you're tired and realize the baby isn't going anywhere. Ever. It's okay if someone else hold him for a minute.

With the first you can't let her cry. Even the woeful tears of her being held by her papa for the whole 30 seconds it takes you to pee break your heart and make you feel like worst mother of the year. With the second you can listen to them cry for five minutes while you take a shower and sing to him and know he's totally going to be okay.

With the first you revel in those first pearly white teeth. With the second you know you're just screwed. Now the biting begins.

With the first you eagerly help her take those first steps, pushing and cheering her into the world of walking. With the second you slyly push them down and trip them hoping to stall them from walking. Because really, you don't want to have to run after another kid. And those buggers are quick.

With the first you only give her organic and homemade foods. Most especially in the beginning. With the second you don't even realize that your child's first food was Wendy's French fries until it dawns on you that he's never eaten another solid food other than it. And then you feel like you should cry, but you really don't even care. He's eating something.

With the first you buy a million adorable outfits and always have a cute and well-dressed baby; changed every time she so much as spits up. With the second you're doing really awesome if he's even in a diaper.

With the first you spend so much time reading and counting and giving her your undivided attention that she speak in full sentences by 18 months and knows her alphabet and can count to 10 and recognize her shapes. With the second you're satisfied that he can verbalize his basic needs. The ABC's will be learned eventually. Right?

It's like you should care, and you do, of course, but realize that none of it matters. They all eat and cry and walk and talk no matter what you do. You can't stop those things from happening. And whether they walk at 9 month or 16 months doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Whether they talk at 18 months or 2.5 years only affects your sanity. If they know their shapes or not before they get to geometry class really doesn't matter - they have to learn them then.

The beauty of the second child is that they teach you what really matters. Those little things. The smiles and hugs and kisses and dirty hands and faces. The silly little quirks and their hilarious shenanigans.

The second child teaches you to chill out.

So really, everyone needs a second child.

Just sayin'.