I'm entering that stage of my life where you know, all my friends are either graduating from grad school or getting married or having their first babies.
It all makes me so happy and excited for them because I know how awesome marriage and kids are, so they're getting ready for some really magical moments ahead of them.
At the same time it makes me a little nostalgic for my own wedding and first baby days. I don't have any experience with grad school, so I just feel excited for their accomplishments there. I don't really know anyone who hasn't gone to grad school at this point in my life, so I'm like a freaking rare gem, just saying.
I planned zero of my wedding. Nothing. None of it. Honestly, I wanted to elope. I still feel a little saddened that we didn't, but it's done and over with. No use in crying over spilt milk (unless it's breast milk! In that case, have a flipping sob fest for that gold, my love!).
I ordered a cheap dress I never tried on until 8 weeks before my wedding. It fit awesome then. Come my wedding day, I was 7 weeks pregnant with mega huge boobs (yep, who knew that they could have gotten so much bigger so quickly?) I'm sure people tsked at the Jezebel walking down the aisle. Oh, well. I was happy regardless.
We had a cheap, shitty photographer so I have no real great pictures from that day. Nothing better than from my prom anyway. I tell myself it doesn't matter. Our wedding was just a day. Our marriage is a lifetime. That's what matters.
And really, our marriage is kick ass, so what more could I possibly ask for?
I'm excited for my friends who are planning these gorgeous weddings and are blissfully happy about this. I'm so happy that they will get to walk down the aisle - or stand at the end of the aisle waiting for someone to come down - and they will get to pledge their love to their partner in front of an audience of people who are crazy happy for them and thrilled that they have found one another.
I'm happy they know love.
I remember those crazy blissful 40 weeks of pregnancy. Okay, some of the first weeks weren't blissful when the doctor thought I was going to miscarry. That was pretty terrible, but otherwise. J and I were in baby bliss. We talked about our perfect little family and all our beautiful ideals. We oohed and ahhed and loved every little flutter and kick that came from within my womb.
When we brought that sweet girl calmly into this world, at home, in a placid and loving environment, perfect, whole, without medicines swimming through her body, we were in love. Over the moon, outta this world kind of love. When she was 3 months old my doc asked me about a million and ten times how I could possibly be as smiley and chatty and eager for another as I was. She said most sleep-deprived moms with tiny babes and thrush and plugged ducts were not as obviously elated and so ridiculously happy about getting up in the middle of the night as I was.
But are you kidding? Those days are so easy! Two parents. One baby. Babies eat and sleep. Sleep and eat. You wear them everywhere you go. You take them with you out to eat and to the movies and they sleep or nurse the whole time. You can do anything and everything that you could beforehand. They're simple and easy and fun.
I wouldn't trade in my crazy, hectic, sleep-deprived, never ending days that I have now for the world. They're beautiful and perfect in a very different way.
But I also understand that the time J and I had as a family of 3, especially those early months, was a very special time. A very sweet and dear time. We can never go back there, but man, do we have some wonderful memories.
I'm excited my friends are going to get this. Are getting this right now. I'm happy that those are moments they get to experience for themselves. That no one can take that away from them.
Life without marriage and life without kids is great, don't get me wrong. Just a very different kind of great. I love this marriage and baby fairy that is floating around, guiding my friends into this awesome world. Because I know they're gonna rock it. And I know that they will find as much love and joy from it as I have.
And nothing makes me happier than seeing the people I love so very much being oh-so happy themselves.
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