Don't touch!

No, I'm not talking about what my children shouldn't touch. I'm talking about my children themselves.

H and B are typically super affectionate. They love cuddles and hugs and kisses. Heck, last night they  asked all the neighbors and kids outside for hugs before they had to go in for baths.

The key word there is asked.

I hate when my kids clearly don't want hugs or kisses and yet people still demand they show affection or "steal" the hugs/kisses regardless.

I want my children to always know they have full control over their bodies. No one has the right to touch, hug, prod, etc., without their consent. Even if it's to show affection.

I hate how people treat kids like little puppets and say, "Go kiss Aunt Sally" even if they clearly don't want to. Especially when it's someone they hardly know.

Their bodies, ask consent.

When B hits H and I ask him what he can do to show her gentle hands, he always says "hug." But we ask H if its okay first. Typically she says yes, but occasionally she says no, and B knows that if she says no than he cannot hug her (but Momma will happily be his recipient!).

When a child is forced to allow hugs they don't want at that moment for whatever reason, they are being told that they have no control over their own body. That their bodies are for others to do with as they please. Which makes the line precariously thin between unwanted affection and abuse. Not as in giving an unwanted hug is abuse, but as in a child is less likely to speak up if abused if they've all ready been taught they have no voice where their body is concerned.

So go ahead and give hugs and kisses and all the love in the world. But if they say "no," respect that.

And don't touch.