Jokes on me.
It should have been painfully obvious this morning that the Fates are happy jokers and were going to have their fun with me today. It started when I had to wake my children up at 7:30am. My babes are always up at 6am. They are my little alarm clocks. So of course I didn't think twice about scheduling Mr. B's psychology study at the local university at 8 am. That'd give us a whopping 2 hours to get ready and get there. No big deal.
No such luck of course.
Don't get me wrong now. I am freaking thrilled that my kids slept that late. It's awesome and amazing. And B only woke up once last night, which is icing on the cake. Well, other than the fact that H had to poop three times in the middle of the night, during which time she told me, "I think I ate too much chocolate. That was just a bad idea." So, you know, if she'd slept through I'd have had real sleep last night. Alas, when your bowels call, you gotta answer!
After dressing them mostly in their sleep and shuffling them into the car, I made it three blocks from the house only to realize that I'd forgotten my phone. I was all ready too late to turn around and get it. It's probably a good thing for me to exist without it to be honest. I'm on that dang thing all. the. time. Mostly it's my connection to the outside world most days.
At the university, after showing H where we'd be and getting her set up a sheet away from us (literally, we were divided by a sheet), with her watching us on a video monitor (because she's not like most kids who happily goes to play with a student in the play room), we did the study. B looked ridiculously cute with the hat and cameras all attached to him.
When we were done each of the kids received a book to take home and I ended up taking home a packet to do another study with B which consists of me writing down what he's doing every 30 minutes for the next three days. For real. Every 30 minutes.
H and B were hungry by then, of course, so we went to the bagel shop around the corner of the library, which was our next destination. They both chose chocolate chip bagels that they didn't eat and instead drank way too much of my iced coffee.
If we're being honest, my kids probably have a coffee problem.
You could probably call it an addiction.
Finally we were off to the library. We turned in overdue library books and CDs (yay for no late fee charges on children's materials!). H chose a Curious George DVD and a Dinosaur Train DVD to check out for car viewing. She also picked out two books while Momma chose the book "Words are not for Hurting" and 2 Spanish music CDs.
The kids then played in the play area. We played some serious grocery store and B was an awesome cashier while H and two other little girls brought him tons of things to ring up. I knew one of the little girls and her mother from a few playdates, so when B needed a diaper change she offered to keep H for me who was content playing.
Off B and I went right around the corner to the bathrooms that are in the children's area. After B was changed I realized I really needed to pee. Of course, sitting on the toilet, mid-pee, B grabs the door handle and pulls down and I heard a very unsettling click! This is how I learned the door unlocked simply by opening it from the inside.
As he began to pull it open I yelled, probably too loudly, "No!" and jumped up to stop him both from opening the door completely and darting out into the library. I immediately felt pee all over my heel and shoe. Fan-freaking-tastic. Let's just say it's not easy to stop peeing mid-stream. I know, this is so much more than you ever wanted to know.
B immediately fell onto the dirty bathroom floor sobbing. I'm sure everyone who could hear the debacle thought I'd just beat him, and with the way he was reacting, I'd have thought that too. While I cleaned myself up and tried my best to assure him all was okay, huge, thick tears rolled down his cheeks.
When I finally lifted him up into my arms, I said to him, "Really now? You think the whole world needs to watch Momma potty?" Immediately he grinned that terribly sweet, mischievous smile and he was perfectly fine. Go figure.
When it was finally time to go, because there is only 2 hour parking and I don't particularly want a ticket, H was using the computers.
She asked to stay on the computer while I grabbed our jackets. Since she's not my runner and is super awesome at staying put, I agreed since I was only going 10 feet away.
Yeah, 10 feet.
10 feet away, I turned around and she was gone.
The library was sparse, I shouted her name. "H! H.P.! Where are you? H! I need you to speak to Mommy, please."
Silence.
Utter, dead silence. I walked down a few aisles of books to no avail, keeping my eye on B who was hogging the water fountain and bathing his jacket in it.
"H!" I yelled again.
Nothing. At this point, I was definitely feeling panicky. My heart was racing and my face was hot. Immediately I was sure someone had kidnapped her and I hadn't managed to see him go past me to get to the exit.
And then.
Then. There she was. In the middle of an aisle, trying her best to hide.
"H!" She looked at me, smiled, and took off.
I refused to run after her, and she stopped a few aisles down where I walked up to her, grabbed her, and told her she was never, ever allowed to run or hide from Mommy. That Momma had been very scared something had happened to her. She seemed pretty sorrowful, but regardless, I'll probably have anxiety about that now.
When we finally made it out to the car they decided then that they wanted their bagels from earlier.
Thank God I'd had the sense to bring them with.
And it's only Monday.
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