"You'd rather show cruelty than kindness to your own children"

I'd been reading a lot of buzz about the latest WifeSwap episode.

I dislike reality TV in general. It typically pisses me off. This show was no exception, but I watched it on my phone after the kiddos were in bed anyway.

The "radical" mom said something to the hardcore authoritarian dad though that nearly made me cry. She said something along the lines of, "You'd rather show cruelty than kindness to your own children. Your own children."

We all have the ability to show our children kindness, but it's a fact that most of us don't in stressful and learning situations.

Leaving a baby or toddler to cry themselves to sleep - their throats raw and sore, their noses running, their scream unattended to is not kind.

When our children disobey or "act out" we punish. We isolate, we hit, we take things or privileges away. We have the ability to show kindness. We have the ability to talk and listen and reason and understand. But more than often we don't.

Being right is more important than being kind oftentimes.

We deny out children the kindness we would show adult human beings for reasons that I no longer understand.  I used to think it was because we had to "teach" them. They would only be good and caring people with punishments (because discipline and punishment are NOT synonymous).

But I know that's not true. So why do so many of us do it? Why do we bully and punish our kids into what our ideals for them are instead of allowing them their true identities and help guide them along their path when they act out and tell us they are seeking our help?

I'm not perfect. Not even close. But the mother's statement really struck a chord with me. I will certainly be asking myself in future situations with my children if I'm showing them the kindness I'd want others to show me?

Am I showing them kindness or cruelty? Because that is 100% something I have control of.