Having friends who do motherhood differently - that's okay!

I've been asked on more than one occasion, both by those I'm close to and those I am not, how I can have such strong, vocal beliefs in parenting, and yet be friends with people who do things differently than me?

To be honest, I feel like it's kind of a silly question. Though I suppose valid at the end of the day.

I don't have a single friend who shares all of my beliefs in all aspects of life.

That'd be creepy.

And thus, we wouldn't be friends.

To be super honest, most of friends share very few, if any of my parenting beliefs. And that's okay.

I read an article recently where a woman addressed this issue by saying that she surrounds herself by people who, like herself, are also always constantly learning and bettering themselves.

I agree with that.

But I think it's not always the full of it.

I have plenty of friends very set in their ways. Friends whose beliefs deeply contrast mine and they don't wish to learn any more or see things differently or "better" themselves according to my beliefs (my beliefs may totally not be better!).

And that's okay.

Even in parenting.

I have three friends who are also moms who I would say I'm pretty close with. They're each very different and have very different beliefs from me.

One is basically my opposite. Very mainstream. Pro-circumcision, cry it out, spanking. She feeds her kids whatever and thinks organic is nonsense. Her children attend public school and are vaccinated on schedule. She had drugged births.

Another is slightly more AP. Did a lot of baby-wearing, breastfed until the age of two, doesn't believe in spanking ever, but time-outs and yelling occur. Although she co-slept for the first 18 months, she also let her child cry it out at the age of 18 months and plans to send her to private school and vaccinates and is aware of food and buys certain things organic (like milk) but doesn't really mind either way. Her child was born via c-section.

And the third is fairly AP, plans to home school, very food conscious, unvaccinated and intact kids. Breastfed past a year. But she has spanked and is a bit more religious and over-all conservative in her parenting beliefs than I. She birthed both in the hospital and at home.

Maybe these women are constantly learning and evolving. I know they are. I know this because they are amazing people. Incredible women. Kick-ass mothers. But they are also very confident in the choices they have made, even the ones that are stark contrasts from mine. But more than that, these women have something innately in common with each other and myself, that makes it so extremely easy for me to be friends with them. For me to talk and commiserate and turn to them for help.

They love their children.

It's that simple.

Truly, purely, selflessly and unconditionally, they love their children.

They have each done what they believed best at that moment for their children and it has been out of love.

I deeply respect and love these women. I admire their courageous choices and beautiful strength.

And how in the world could you not be friends with someone different when they so purely love their children, and at the end of the day, that's all that you yourself are doing, too?