People annoy me

People annoy me. To quote a good friend, "people should annoy you because generally they're lame." It's true. I'm not an exception either, without a doubt I'm generally lame, too. I'm okay with that.

But what really annoys me is how people are so freaking defensive. We would rather go on making the same mistakes our parents did because we can't admit that - gasp! - our parents weren't always right. I don't get it. At all.

I love my parents. Truly and deeply. I respect them. But I have zero qualms admitting that I do not agree with the way I was raised. At all.

I'm not saying my parents are bad. Just wrong. To me. Plenty of people would agree with how they raised their children and that's cool.

Though it never ceases to amuse me how so many people - family, friends, and strangers alike love to criticize and tell me how my parenting choices are wrong. Honestly, criticize away. I feel very confident in my decisions, so others throwing their insecurities at me doesn't bother me at all. Besides, I've met a fair share of kids in my life. I see how they turn out. How confident and independent (or not). How good their relationships legitimately are (or not) with others. It's crazy surprising how many people truly believe they have great relationships with their children, both young and grown, and they have no idea. They don't. Their kids give them just enough so that they think they are hunky dory. It's more common than most realize.

Anyway, it seems that those who criticize the most, also praise the most. I've gotten a LOT of grief over the very non-processed, typically organic diet my family eats. Along with not vaccinating and breast feeding for the natural duration. Whatever. It's not for everyone. But I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh when those so against my choices can't believe how incredibly healthy my kids are. They've had the common cold once. And other than teething related illnesses, that's it. And I'm NOT a germaphobe. I don't wash my hands every hour. I let my kids eat their dropped food from the floor. They have no idea what bleach or hand sanitizer is. Yeah, I'm doing something terribly wrong.

But the best one is how I "discipline" my children. First off, the word discipline is derived from "disciple". It means to show the correct way. It is not synonymous with punish, though few people realize that. We try very strongly not to engage in punitive parenting. And we are doing so much better at it now than 6 months ago. And -surprise! - our babes are sooo much better behaved, naturally courteous, and overall charming to be around. I have more than one family member who happily tells me my children will grow up being rude, bad people. Um, yes? Because they are rude, bad children? No. They simply think all children should be spanked, yelled at, bribed and threatened. Well, obviously if you have to do those things, numerous times, they are not working. Not to mention that those are the authoritarian actions that tend to produce the best sheeple. But maybe that's the goal for some.

Children are people too. They are learning as they go. It's our job to guide them. Lovingly. Each time you hit your child you are teaching them that violence is okay. If you are bigger. When you yell you teach them that it's okay to take out your anger and frustration on other people. It's okay to make others feel bad. When you bribe or threaten you are virtually saying, "I know I haven't taught you mutual respect, only respect through fear, so I know you won't do as I ask unless I make it worth your while it scare you with punishment."

That all being said, I'm sure there are many people okay with raising their kids that way.

I'm not one of them.

Luckily, I can learn from others mistakes. I can learn from my own.

My kids aren't perfect. My girl is what they call "high spirited". I call her vivacious. She's stubborn and strong willed and very opinionated. Yes, that can make parenting her challenging at times. But I know if my goal is to raise her to be strong and loving, not to "break" her so she always shows immediate obedience, she will be a kick ass leader some day.

Children learn by how we act. How we treat them. I don't want my babes to think that violence or screaming is acceptable. I don't want them to ever think that compliance without thinking or questioning is right. After all, the Holocaust couldn't have happened if their had been more people who questioned their orders instead of just armies full of sheeple.

Yes, people annoy me. Daily. That doesn't mean I love or like those people any less. Mostly it means I don't understand their trains of thoughts or actions.

And that's okay. I don't have to understand unless someone wants me to and takes the time to explain. We all have our own beliefs and ideas and goals and wishes for the outcomes of ourselves and our kids.

Some just really annoy me. But I'm sure I annoy plenty of people too, so it all balances out.