"Play" school

So someone mentioned that they didn’t realize H was in preschool, since our first minor experience was traumatic, and we plan to home school anyway.

Well, she is. Actually, I refer to it as “play” school. She goes to play and sing songs and do crafts and play in the sandbox for 2.5 hours twice a week. And it gives B and me some good 1 on 1 time together. Which is needed, because, yeah…I hang on to that guilt shit like nothing else. But we’re working on it.

Anyway, she loves it. She fussed the first day, but never cried. Because I told myself I would not do it if she cried. It just isn’t worth it. Especially since it’s not necessary. But she didn’t cry. She told me she wanted me to stay, that she didn’t want me to leave, but overall, she did awesome. This was the beginning of October. Because I couldn’t decide when the school year actually began if I wanted to enroll her or not.

And initially decided not to, because I knew she didn’t need it academically or socially.

But then realized that Mommy needed it. Mentally.

And I’m okay with that.

I get some special, uninterrupted time with B, which I got for the first whole 17 months of H’s life. Since J is gone all the time, it gives me some kind of sanity break, especially on the most trying weeks, and we are all a lot happier for it.

And she asks to go now. She tells me she wants to go to preschool on non-preschool days.

So at least I’m not traumatizing her.

Too much. J