There is no such thing as Santa Claus...but maybe there should be something?

Today at the Y a lady asked H if she was getting excited for Santa. Miss H stared at her blankly and finally answered, "no."

She has no idea who Santa is.

I have conflicting views and feelings about Santa, the tooth fairy, etc. The thing is, we don't lie to our kids. This seems to really surprise people. I'm not sure why, though. I feel like that's just a natural thing not to do. At least for me.

This includes all those little "fun" childhood lies. We don't teach the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus. Doesn't mean that they don't get stockings or Easter Baskets. We haven't really discussed the tooth thing yet, but we've got time. We just don't say that Santa filled their stockings.

I'm not against Santa or any of the other childhood characters. It's not like we don't read books with Santa or anything. Well, I guess we haven't. But I am not opposed to doing so. If she wants to visit Santa at the mall, I'm not opposed. I'll happily teach her about the real St. Nick, and tell her the stories of Santa that other children are lead to believe. I would never for a millisecond lead her to believe that people who teach these stories to their children are wrong or bad. But more like religion. Not everyone shares the same religious beliefs, and that's okay. Not everyone shares the same Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., beliefs.

For me it's all a matter of the lying. I remember always thinking as a kid that if my parents were capable of lying to me about Santa, what else were they lying about? I had a hard time truly trusting adults as a child. I viewed them all as liars. Even after I was old enough to comprehend that lying about Santa was for fun, not meant to hurt anyone. And to be honest, it wasn't like finding out Santa wasn't real was traumatic for me. I'd never been a huge believer anyway. It was that people were lying to me that had the lasting impact.

I don't know how I'm supposed to knowingly lie to my children, but then expect them to tell the truth. I mean, can I really tell them that it's okay for Momma to lie, but not them? Wouldn't that be confusing for them? Obviously it was for me, but perhaps I was the exception, not the rule.

So yeah, maybe I'm ruining my children and their imaginations by not pretending Santa is real during these early years, but I'm hoping to do the opposite.

I don't think those who choose to do Santa or anything else are wrong. I think it's just one of those areas, you know, like every area in parenting, where we just have to come to the conclusion of what is best for us.

Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc., just doesn't match up with my personal or religious beliefs. My religion says that lying is a sin. It's not a gray area. There is no leeway for white lies. A lie is a lie. And it's a sin. For me, personally, that's a pretty big deal. I am certainly not sin-free (pregnant before I was married...), but I do try to at least avoid the sins rhat go agsinst my personsl moral beliefs as well. So I'm pretty set on my no-lying policy.

So I won't teach my children about the fairy-tale version of Santa; I'll tell them the truth about where babies come from; I'll always be honest with them when they ask, even if I want to shield and protect their young, tender minds. Because for us, it's just what works.

That all said, I'm trying. Like, really, really hard to figure out how to make things magical for them still. I want the holidays to be magical; they have that right. I just don't know how to do it without lying exactly.

I remember all the holidays growing up were these phenomenal events that I LOVED. Though looking back, I loved that I had so much family there celebrating. And that's probably the kicker. My kids don't have half a dozen siblings and aunts and uncles who comes around for the holidays to partake in a feast with them. And for me, that's what made it magical.

Driving around to look at lights with my Dad while "Santa" (and this was loooong after we all knew Santa was not real) delivered presents on Christmas Eve for us. I remember always knowing Santa wasn't real, and yet we all played into it because it was fun.

I want Christmas and Thanksgiving and even the 4th of July to be amazing, magical events for my kids to look back on. I certainly don't want them to be shortchanged because their mother is a bit cynical and far too realistic. But finding that healthy median is proving to be a real challenge. Mostly I don't know how to lie and my imagination sucks.

And then J just doesn't like the holidays period. So he's zero help. Zero.

I guess I am at the crossroads of finding a way to make it all fun and magical without compromising myself and my own views. But they deserve to be kids. They deserve to have imaginations and believe in whatever they want to believe. They deserve to be young and innocent.

And to be honest, I deserve to have this all be a bit easier. Ha!