"50 Shades" is glorified abuse

When trying to explain my disgust with what seems to be the best-selling book this past year, 50 Shades of Grey, J was able to pinpoint my feelings exactly: It is glorified abuse.

To be honest, I had zero interest in reading the book anyway, so I’m sure I have some serious biasness against it. But a friend pressed it into my hands and begged me to, saying, “I bet you’ll love it. And if not, blog about it!” Well, here’s the blog…

The whole thing made me sick. I have no freaking idea how anyone can find this to be good literature, much less a turn-on.

Every time Mr. Grey gets annoyed with Ana her first instinctual response is, “Please don’t hit me.” Um…ABUSE. If that were my first comment anytime I annoyed J I think anyone would agree that it would not be a healthy relationship. Yet, apparently it’s romantic in this book.

Maybe I don’t get it because I have a healthy, happy sex life. J and I are still pretty much in the “honeymoon phase” in all aspects of our relationship, even after two kids: we still talk non-stop about anything and everything, we hold hands, we cuddle, we spend time together and are constantly around each other when we’re both home, we never really fight and of course, we still have sex. All the time. So I don’t need to read about someone else’s twisted and abusive sex life to get my fill.

And it’s not just sex. It’s abuse. I mean, he freaking spanks her. As punishment. Not as just part of some kinky sex. Dear Lord, I’d be frakking PISSED if Jaime spanked our kids, especially for rolling their eyes! I’d be saying sayonara! if he thought he’d do it to me. That’s sick and disgusting and wrong.

I don’t believe in causing anyone physical harm. Much less someone whom you have a genuine relationship with.

And the contract. Dear God, the contract. Yeah, yeah, she doesn’t sign it. But the fact that she doesn’t run for the hills as soon as she sees it (or sooner, when she sees the Red Room of Pain) is insane. I want to shake Ana. I want to tell her that she seemed like such a good, sensible girl for the whole first three pages of the book. What happened!?

And I don’t get S&M. So maybe that’s my problem with the whole book. I don’t find it sexy or alluring. I would never be okay with it. I don’t even think it’s sexy to fantasize about. So I don’t get it. Pain does NOT equal pleasure or love or whatever for me. A creepy man wanting to hurt me just doesn’t put me in the mood. Even if he is worth billions of dollars.

I won’t even get into the fact that this book is clearly a blatant rip-off of another sensational book (that’s also a rip-off of another book…), this one just doesn’t have vampires and includes some (not so) awesome sexual abuse. But whatever.

I’m sure I’m in the minority; since this book is everywhere you look. All over the media. In all of my much-loved friends’ hands. Plastered all over the shelves in the library and Barnes and Noble. Apparently there are groups springing up all over the nation of grown woman who get together and discuss this book and all that it entails in order to get their kicks and jollies.

I don’t get it.

At all.

To me, it’s glorified abuse.

And that’s just downright creepy that people find it okay.

But that’s just me.