I believe in a form of eugenics

I'm snuggled in bed between two perfect babies. I'm at my step dad's house while J re-does the stairs in our home. It will be a relief when they're done. Until then I'm single parenting it up in someone else's home. Far more difficult than doing it in my own house, but that's okay. I have some pretty awesome kids who make it worth it.

Which gets me to the point of this blog post.

From the day I got two little signs on that pee stick, every single decision I have made has been with my children's best interest put first. Some would say that I put my children first to a fault. Maybe so.

But I know I could never imagine treating them like some mothers treat their children. I'm not talking about time-outs or spankings, not a healthful diet or such. I'm talking about the mental, emotional, and verbal abuse that happens all too frequently. Those scars aren't visible, so they are often overlooked.

But at the end of the day, they're probably the most damaging.

There should be a test you must pass before becoming a parent. Not one that states you must be a certain age or have a certain income or even parent a certain way, but one that proves that you are in fact mentally stable. Sure, it's a form of eugenics, but whatever. Sure, I wouldn't exist, but nonetheless. I still believe in it.

Being able to tell a 3 year old her daddy threatened to kill her, and then sending her off to spend the summer with him, giving her your warmest regards, should be illegal.

Telling your 13 year old that she is fat and ugly should not be legal. Telling her she is crazy, she's beautiful, when she finally accepts it, should not be legal.

When your child has just birthed a perfect human being, telling her that she can have another baby that is the "better" gender next, but until then she's thrown her life away to be a mom, should not be legal.

Constant degrading, malicious words, and so much more, should not be legal.

Choosing to love one child, but not another, is just sick and should not be legal.

Withholding your motherly love should not be legal.

But it is.

It all is.

And it's even acceptable if you can hide it all in a fancy house and a few over glorified college degrees. If you can hide it under expensive clothes and make up and lots of smiles and words of praise when in front of others.

Yes, I believe in a form of eugenics. A form that would never allow this to happen to children because narcissistic individuals would not be allowed to reproduce.

Because children deserve to be loved. At 4. At 24. At 74. They should be loved by their parents.

When I look at my children, I could never imagine treating them in such a mentally and emotionally abusive way. It never crosses my mind. Sure, when they're absolutely crazy I want to yell or confine them to their rooms. Occasionally I want to spank them. Of course I don't, I know better.

But never have I thought about or even had the slightest desire to degrade my beautiful children. To torment them with disgusting, vile, hurtful words. To control them with my love.

Phrases such as, "What's the matter with you?" Or "Grow up!" aren't appropriate, so obviously words such as, "Are you sure you're going to eat that, you're looking kinda chunky" and so much worse are far from okay to say to your child.

I just don't get it.

Not even a little bit.

And yet it's more common than many would ever suspect.

The damage from words lasts far longer than the damage of bruises. The pain much deeper.

So hold your babies. Love them. Do not be guilty of harming your children with words. Because words can never be unsaid. The damage never undone.

Oh how I believe in a form of eugenics that would prevent this kind of abuse from ever having to be endured by another child. I believe in it deeply.