Dude, what is up with the public humiliation of children? I thought it was bad enough having to witness kids being screamed at, put into time out, and/or spanked in public. But now it's been upped to a whole new level.
Photographs on the Internet.
The first form of this I saw was actually a video of the teenage girl whose father shot her laptop. I won't lie, at the time I thought he was bloody brilliant. The shooting of the laptop that is, not the filming of it and making it available for the world to see. Of course now I don't even agree with the shooting of the lap top. That whole situation, most especially everything that lead up to that moment was just a series of bad parenting, but oh well, not my problem. I'm just appalled he put it on the Internet.
But more than appalled, I'm extremely sad for all these little kids whose photos are being shared all over facebook. Typically they have signs that read of their wrongdoings, or they are with a sibling in a "get along" shirt.
I mean, obviously, I don't agree with sticking your kids in a shirt together as punishment. But I vehemently oppose photographing it for complete strangers to see! How disgusting. If this was done to any other group of people in the world other than children there would be hell to pay for it. People would not laugh, they would cry abuse! But not if it is done to the most fragile and vulnerable group of people in the world - our children.
I saw one photo of a girl holding a sign in the parking lot of Wal-Mar that stated she had back talked to her dad, and this was her punishment. WTF? If you are in the group of people who believe in punishments, why not at least make it be a natural consequence? Standing in a parking lot and having your "misbehavior" told to everyone is extreme humiliation. It doesn't serve the purpose of making the situation better. I can guarantee you that girl does not have remorse for what she did or any more respect for her father. Probably much, much less.
But we also seem to live in a world where fear is often confused as respect, and unfortunately many people are too dumb or simply don't care to see that. And that's sad.
But no worries! Because childism is totally legal. You can humiliate your child each and every way pretty much with no repercussions to yourself (just repercussions to your relationship with your child).
Think of all the kids whose photographs are out there forever now, for the whole world to see, in their most vulnerable state of humiliation and shame. Bravo, parents. Fucking bravo. You should only be so proud...
The most recent photo that has been making its rounds is of a boy, he looks about 9, holding a sign above a PS3 and a Captain America action figure. The sign reads something along the lines of : Because I wasn't grateful to receive this Captain America action figure from church, I have to return my PS3 that I was going to get for Christmas and use the money to buy other people gifts.
Well, they sure taught him.
I can actually respect these parents goal, but they went about it in a terribly horrible way. No way is that boy going to be more grateful next time. If anything, he is going to be far less giving in the future.
And the face on that boy is crushed. You can tell how sad, heart broken, and genuinely shamed he is. But maybe if his parents had taught him gratitude in the first place, this wouldn't have been an issue?
And who even knows what the whole situation was? Was he flat out rude about the gift when he received it? Or was he simply overheard mumbling and grumbling that he all ready had one or that he didn't like it? We'll probably never know. But regardless, publicly humiliating him is disgusting.
It's one thing to discuss your child's misdeeds and punishments with close family or friends. I think everyone does that, and needs to do that. We are not simply raising children, but people.And I think getting feedback on situations and hearing advice from other people is always beneficial, even if not always applicable.
But to announce it to the world: no. To photograph humiliating photos and share it with the Internet: no.
And yet so many people think this okay. I don't get it.
I try to always ask myself before reacting to my children, "Would I treat an adult like this?" If the answer is no, then I shouldn't be treating my child like that.
Would I tell a friend to stop talking? Would I insist a friend go to time-out while she sorts out her emotions? Would I walk away from a friend who was crying and in distress? Would I hit a friend "to teach them"?
Would I photograph a friend's inappropriate behaviour and then display them in all their shame for the world to see?
Hell no!
So why would anyone do that to their child?
Remember, how we treat our children is how they will treat the world when we're not looking. It is how they will treat their own children.
I for one do not want my children to ever think that shaming or humiliating someone is okay, publicly or not.
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