They're not named after anyone

My kids aren’t named after anyone. It drives me crazy that everyone thinks they are. Yes, they do share names with people. Some famous, some family, but they aren’t named after them.

Come on. I mean, everyone has the right to their own identity. Naming them after someone is such a high expectation of them. What high standards to live up to, you know? I know a lot of people do it. They like it. Power to them. I don’t care if others do it. It’s just not what I do.

Also, I just like names too much. A had a LOT of fun picking out my babes’ names (well, H’s, B’s not so much but we will get there). If I’d just said this is J Jr. or something well…where is the fun in that? Where is the actual time and thought put into it? Anyone can name a kid after themselves or their parents, etc. But isn’t the beauty in choosing a name that you actually decided on, not one that was decided for you by someone else?

I don’t know. Call me crazy.

H’s name was terribly difficult for us to come up with. Originally I was very set on a Spanish name for her, for my husband’s heritage. But it turns out that there aren’t any Spanish girl names we could agree on and that J didn’t have a close relative or friend named. So then we looked into my Norwegian roots and found a name, not common, but certainly heard of, that we liked. Later, while reading a baby name book I saw another name I really liked. It took about two seconds for me to realize that if we switched the first later of that name from a “C” to an “H” then her name could be shortened to the Norwegian name we liked. And it helped that the name had a flowy sound similar to an author I favor.

Of course, after she was born we immediately realized that she was not at all the shortened name, and has remained the long name forevermore. Because no matter how hard I try, I cannot make her the nickname. She’s just not.

She has two middle names – both kids do. Her first middle name is the first name J suggested that I didn’t hate. Mostly he would write down random-ass letters and say “How would you pronounce that? That looks cool.” Or suggest random Asian names. Um, no.

Her second middle name is the same last name as one of my favorite authors. His birthplace was a vacation spot for J and I, and he’s also of Irish origins, as another part of my family is. I thought it was a cool name. So it became hers. I did not give H the name because of this man though. She is not named after him. I mean, he has some great written work, but he is certainly not the kind of person I’d name any one after. Just a cool name,

It’s like if I were to name a kid Shiloh, it wouldn’t be after the dog or the Brangelina kid. Sure, that’s where I would have first heard the name, but my kid wouldn’t actually be named after them.

B’s more tricky. B got named on a whim by a depressed lady certain she was having a girl (and in LOVE with her girl name) that hadn’t slept in over 36 hours,

So B shares names with family members, but dear Lord, he’s not named after them. His first name is the same as J’s maternal grandfather. The man passed away long before I was a part of the picture. I wouldn’t name my kid after him any more than I would after any other dead person, family or not. He may have been an amazing and great man. He may have been a drunkard and a wife-beater. I have no idea and likely never will.

But I do know he had a cool Spanish name. And it could be shortened into a name I planned to call my boy-child for the past 15 years. J wouldn’t go for just the shortened version, so B got the longer version. Not after a great-grandfather, but because it was the only was I’d get my name.

He, like H, has two middle names. The first one is my father’s middle name. Again, not because of my dad, though I love him dearly. Because in the exhausted, euphoric state of having just pushed a 9lb baby out of my body I thought it’d be cute if H and B had “matching” middle names that began with the same letter. The P middle name B was christened with was simply the first one I could think of. Not the one I liked best.

And his second middle name is the name of a character in a book. I wouldn’t name my kid after a fictitious character, but the name is cool.

To be honest, if I’d waited a day or two to name B, he’d have a different name. Completely. But it is what it is and I love him dearly regardless.

But what I’m trying to say, if it hasn’t been clear – my children aren’t named after anyone. They’re just not. They are individuals. So they have names they get to make for themselves. Not names that J or my dad or anyone else got to make first.

Mmk.