It seems like every email, text, and phone call I receive lately is someone inviting us to a holiday party or playdate. And it seems that all I do is keep saying “no.”
I’m not a Scrooge who loathes all things Christmas. I swear. I love Christmas. But it seems all things Christmas evolve around one certain something that seems to screw up everything, that pesky little "f" word that always crops up into everything – food!
Let’s face it, the holidays are always food-centered. I love food. So typically this is a good thing. Or at least it used to typically be a good food. Now not so much. For two reasons.
1.) Between the two of them, my kids are allergic to pretty much all the yummy Christmas treats. It sucks. But there is no way around it. Every time I think “Oh, just one cookie won’t hurt” I end up with a sick kid. And that’s probably illegal anyway, letting your kid eat something that you know will make them sick. Fantastic.
2.) I just know better. I wish I either didn’t know better or didn’t care. I mean, let’s be honest. The majority of the people out there know wheat is an anti-nutrient. So not only is it harmful to your body, it prevents your body from absorbing any of the good nutrients. And red dye #40 is a known carcinogen (that means scientists have proven that the consumption of it causes cancer, people. Scary business. Not to mention it’s banned in European countries because they know better and care…)
It’s hard. So, so, so hard. Miss H understands that colors hurt her belly. She knows. She will tell me that the pink ice cream hurts her tummy, etc., etc. But Mr. B. He’s too little. He has no idea why Mommy won’t give them deliciously looking gold fish. Most especially when everyone else is eating them and I used to say “oh, fuck it!” and let him eat it so not to cause a hullaballoo, and then I would have to hold my screaming, crying baby later while he was in pain. So yeah. It’s my fault too.
I don’t know the way around it right now. I’ve not found that healthy balance. For birthday parties it’s easy to simply skip the cake and intrigue and entertain them while the cake-eating is being done. For other holiday parties (Halloween, etc.) we bring an acceptable alternative dessert, and since those holidays aren’t so sweet-treat-centered, they’re easier.
Right now they’re all kinds of crazy-delicious cookies shaped as snowmen and Santa Claus, and peppermint bark, and cute frosted cupcakes, and everything has gluten and is festively colored with green and red frosting.
It’s impossible. There is no win-win situation it seems.
And it sucks.
Yes, I can blame it all on my kids’ allergies. I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. I can say they don’t get to eat these things because they’re allergic. And it’s true and legit and makes the whole situation just that more serious. But even if they weren’t allergic I wouldn’t let them eat it all. And not in the absorbent quantities that are being put-forth during the Holiday season. Because I know better. Again, I wish I could know better and simply ignore it. How nice that must be.
I even told J the other day when he was grumbling about not having a certain food that I wish I could just feed it to them all and not care. But then I said to him, “How in the world am I supposed to know that this is unhealthy for my children, me, and you, but go ahead and buy it and feed it to you anyway? How am I supposed to just not care when I know?”
And he agreed. He gets it. Even if he’s not always jumping for joy at the alternatives and lack of processed and packaged foods in our house.
But I’m okay with it all. Eating right makes me right. Health-wise. Not overweight. Never sick. Emotionally and mentally pretty damn good (most of the time). Etc., etc. Issues in any of those areas are directly linked to diet choices. So when something is out of wack, I know it’s legit. Which is nice.
But it still doesn’t help me with the issue of Holiday festivities. This years my babes don’t know what they are missing out on. And maybe they won’t next year. But eventually, they will.
I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful sister and step-dad that go out of their way to help us make gluten-free sugar cookies decorated with artificial-dye-free icing and sprinkles and candies. They try to help me make it something special for the kids.
But not everybody is expected to do the same for them. Especially for a party or a playdate. Even though they’d all be better off too, not just my allergic kids.
So alas, I’m stuck saying no. Because it’s easier. At least until they are both able to understand why, and no just because Mommy is a fun-sucker.
Have I mentioned that I’m starting to really hate the holidays? They’re too damn hard as an adult.
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