"My husband won't LET me..."

Seriously women, we live in 21st century America. Hearing grown women say things like "My husband won't let me" (etc.) makes me both incredibly sad and extremely furious.

Sad that people still have relationships like that. Furious that women allow themselves to have relationship like that.

I'm not some crazy feminist. Obviously, I stay home with my children. I'm pretty sure that is the greatest cardinal sin for ultra-feminists. But I do believe in the independent, strong woman.

J and I have very much a partnership. We are equals.

That means we don't ask "permission" to do things or buy things, etc. Sure, we may discuss things beforehand. Like big purchases or if we are making plans we confer with one another first. That's just mutual respect and a good relationship.

But there is no, "Well, I can't buy H this dress because J might get mad" or "I can't go out tonight because J won't allow me."

Not that I go out.

But that has nothing to do with J.

But I feel like I hear on a regular basis women saying things like, "Oh, I could never buy little Sara this dress I love because my husband would never allow me to spend $30 on a dress!" (And I'm not talking about people who just can't afford it, that's obviously a different story.)

Or, "I would love to go out with my friends, but my husband would never let me go out without him and leave him home to babysit the kids."

So many things wrong with that one. Husband not "letting" them go. Or using the word "babysit" with your spouse...um, it's not babysitting when it's your own kid.

I just couldn't imagine J ever telling me that I could or could not do something. That I could or could not buy something. Etc. It just seems so backwards and insane to me.

It just seems like such a blatant lack of respect to the person being controlled. I mean, they are being controlled. Obviously that is disrespectful.

Sometimes when I'm talking to women I seriously want to shake them when I hear them say such things.

Maybe because I don't get it. Maybe because I wouldn't tolerate that in my relationship. Maybe it works for other people. Maybe they enjoy it.

I don't know.

But I feel like we have come too far as women to let that be okay in any relationship.