A good friend of mine is pregnant. I'm so excited for her as she enters this next chapter of her life. I wrote her an email with some of the things I wish others had told me before having my babes.
I can vividly remember being pregnant with my first. That's when the world of parenthood is so exciting, so daunting, and such a mystery. You buy silly, frivolous things that you've become certain are necessities (nursery bedding, anyone?). You set yourself so firmly in your ideals that you cannot imagine anything else (Baby will sleep in his own bed for a solid 12 hours by the time he's 6 months...).
So here is a compilation of just a few things I wish I'd known before having my first babe.
1.)Ditch the travel system and just invest in a really good convertible car seat. Like a Britax Boulevard (safest car seat rating). Yeah, it's going to run your about $250-$275 from diapers.com or albeebaby.com (they always have decent deals), BUT, a travel system is about $150 if it's a cheap one, typically more than that though, and then you're going to have to buy a convertible seat anyways at about 6 mos, and even a cheap one is going to be $80-$100, so why not put that money toward a super safe, comfortable seat that the baby can use for a good 5 years, ya know?
2.) If you buy entertainment things, purchase them from Craigslist or a second hand store. They use them for such a short period of time. And really, I wouldn't bother having any until after the babe is here and you can go to Target or something and actually put them in the swing and see if they like it. All babes are different. H LOVED the swing, but hated the bouncer. B was the exact opposite. Both hated exersaucers. And those are a huge waste of money anyway. A few toys and a blanket does the same thing.
3.) If you don't want to co-sleep with the baby, I'd still skip the bassinet. If you want baby in your room, just stick the crib in there until you're ready to put baby in his own room. Easier, and cheaper, and you don't have to "transition" to the crib.
4.) If you plan to breastfeed, DON'T buy formula "just in case", and don't let them "top her up" in the hospital until your "milk comes in." Breastfeeding SUCKS for the first 2-6 weeks. You are 99% likely to WANT to stop. So if you don't have the ability, i.e., no formula and bottle lying around, you'll keep going. And once you get past the hard part, it's such a freaking breeze.
5.) Don't invest in a "baby bath". Either bathe him in the sink, or take him into the shower with you. When he's super tiny, take him in, rinse him off, hand him out to your spouse to dry off. Super easy. And babies don't need all that baby soap and crap. Until they have real hair, water will suffice. And even then, I just wash H's hair with conditioner.
6.) Be flexible. Regardless of what you believe as far as parenting, remember your baby is on their own agenda. I know of parents who badly wanted to co-sleep, but whose baby very much needed their own space to sleep. And then vice versa of course, those who wanted their babies in their own beds, but their babies had different ideas (us!).
7.) If you plan to breastfeed, make sure you have SUPPORT. Even if that support is in the form of your well-informed husband who can tell you during the worst moments the reasons you chose to breastfeed- both for you AND baby's health. And he can also remind you how freaking expensive formula is. That being said, make sure you also have the support for if it just genuinely isn't working out for you and/or baby, that there is someone to tell you that it's okay- your baby will be fine on formula. Both momma and baby need to have a good and positive experience with breastfeeding. And if someone isn't happy in that relationship, it needs to change. And that's okay!
8.) Don't stock up on one particular brand of diapers unless it's relatively chemical free, like 7th Generation. Some babies have bad reaction to some brands of diapers. It would suck to have 500 diapers you can't use.
9.) And lastly, don't be afraid to ask for help. It's one of the hardest things as a parent to do, but really, one of the best when you are able to do it. (I'm still working on this one...immensely...)
Anyway, take it or leave it. I'm sure there is plenty more, but this is all I can think of off the top of my head, and baby B just woke up...
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