We don't say "no" to our kids

Okay, that's totally a lie! You are probably thinking "WTF?", right?

But really, we try really hard not to say "no." Obviously, we say it. A lot. More than I wish we did some days. But we try to give as many "yes" options as possible.

If Miss H is coloring and suddenly she starts wandering toward a wall or something, instead of saying "Don't color on the walls!" I say "You can color on the paper or in a coloring book. Otherwise, Mommy is putting the crayons up." I try my best to give her better options, and to also clearly let her know what the consequence is if she can't make a better decision.

Now, I'm not perfect. Sometimes I just say "no." Sometimes I'm just too annoyed or spent, and just plain out say "no" with no explanation, no choices. Nothing. And then I typically feel bad about it later. Especially when it's like "Stop kicking me!" (Don't worry, she isn't Satan. She doesn't just randomly kick me. But when she gets into a good tantrum and I get close enough, I'd be a liar if I said it never happened.) More often than I'd like to admit, I probably yell this too. Not scream it, but say it way louder than ever necessary. And quite frankly, I've learned that the louder I am, the less she listens. So you'd think I'd have learned by now...

I truly hate when other people just flat out tell my children "no" for something. With no explanation. With no other option. And without clearly telling them at the very least what the consequence is if they continue doing x (because I really do not believe in consequences with some kind of warning for the most part).

Yep, I'm a crazy, hokey parent. I'm okay with that. Occasionally my children act out. They do not always listen (which, admittedly, drives me insane!). They're not perfect. They certainly have their moments.

But for the most part, they are extremely well-behaved. We are complimented on a nearly daily basis on how well-behaved our children be, whether it be at church or a restaurant. Just today while we were at the fire station looking at the trucks, the fireman was amazed that Miss H was only 2. He kept saying, "She is so well-mannered. She speaks so well." She said her "pleases" and "thank yous" appropriately.

Sure, sometimes she forgets her manners. But it's pretty rare. And her meltdowns and slip-ups tend to be when we are with a lot of people, especially people she does not know well.

But that's okay.

Miss H is 2. She is a child, who with time, will learn. I will not train her like a puppy as I've heard of some people doing. I do not expect her to do as I say all the time, she's got her own agenda! And if we're being honest, I don't want her to be the kind of person you tell to jump and they reply with "How high?"

Sure, my job as a mom might be a bit more difficult, but I hope she questions everything, and continuously. I hope she refuses to be a follower, even if raising a leader kills me. Or makes me go prematurely gray.

So I'll keep my house a fairly "no-free" zone, and try my best to let her do what she wants (within reason...Jaime about died when I let her wander half way across a school carnival without me today. I could see her at all times, and she was fine.) And let's face it, my expectations of my children in some ways may significantly higher than yours (general "you"), and in others may be significantly lower.

So, although I try hard to never say "no", I certainly do. But I will keep trying not to, even if others think that makes me crazy. But really, unless I told you that we try not to say no, would you have even known?